The Grace Dilemna

We're really struggling with behaviour issues with Grace. We're running out
of ideas. Positive discipline doesn't work and neither does timeouts or
taking away priveledges. Punishment is lost on her. It has no effect. She
does feel remorse because she apologizes genuinely. But most of the time
it's only if she has done something by accident. For example, if she knocks
Amelia over by accident she apologizes profusely and is almost in tears if
Amelia doesn't calm down. But if Amelia has something Grace wants, she'll
push her down and snatch it without batting an eyelash. The snatching thing
has not extended to daycare and possibly school too.
She doesn't listen to anyone. Not me, not Becky, not her teacher, not
anyone. Trying to get her to do anything not of her own initiative is like
pulling teeth. Counting to three usually works but I have to do it for
everything. (Grace-Anne , you need to get out of the tub..1. Grace-anne you
need to get out of the tub...2) Her hearing is fine, we've had it tested.
And through our own observation we know she can hear just fine, she just
chooses not to.
At school, she had become "that kid". No one wants to sit near her, or play
with her because she doesn't play nice or sit still or listen to the
teacher or leave other kids alone or do her work or follow intructions etc
etc. AHHHHH!!! It is just frustrating knowing that there is a good kid in
there somewhere. Good Grace is in there somewhere, I know she is, but how
do we get her out?!
Attention is a big thing with her. In two ways. 1) she craves it. No matter
how much we give, she always wants more. Especially from me. 2) She has no
attention span. She can't sit and do anything for more than 5 minutes. She
says she is full after taking 2 bites. Meanwhile she whined for 20 minutes
that she was so hungry. Why? She's bored with it. No matter what we eat,
she takes a few bites. "I'm full!" Bullshit. We can usually get her to eat
a sufficient amount but it's a long painstaking process that only fouls our
mood. We have to play endless games to trick her into eating more or (much
to my shagrin) feed it to her. I hate having to do that but she has to eat,
right? yes, she does have to eat then. If we just let her go without
eating. otherwise she is keeps getting up saying she is hungry and then she
doesn't get enough sleep which makes the next day very rough indeed.
She is defiantly independant. Like if you try to help her with her boots or
coat, "NO! I can do it!!" And it's not like we are trying to rush her or
anything. Just trying to help! And if she does let you put her boots on
it's just because she is being lazy. I know this because it is accompanied
by " You do it".
She has great attention when it comes to TV. But that is not attention,
that's zoning out. All in favour of a total TV ban? "AYE!!" We need to make
TV a serious treat. She needs to EARN it.
What really frustrates me is her complete lack of focus. examples: "Grace,
I am going to go your water, I'd like you to have your jammies on when I
get back" and return to her jumping on her bed or something. No focus, no
respect. I have to tell her 15 times to get on the toilet, to brush her
teeth, to put her coat away. everything and anything. i just don't know
what to do.
With her lack of focus and zero attention span it makes me think ADD. No
hyper activity though. I don't want to give her drugs though. I am at a
loss. If we can't turn her behaviour around me may have to pull her out of
school. it's not fair to the teacher, or the other kids. But I don't want
to do that either. I just want to scream sometimes. Scream at myself
because I feel like I am failing as a parent. I've tried to hard to be a
good Dad and it's not working. At all. Not in my eyes anyway. I dunno.
I have a couple theories. Like things she doesn't express that don't allow
her to focus or remain clearheaded. 1) headaches. we've had her eyes tested
and she is a bit farsighted but she has another appointment to dilate her
eyes so they can get an accurate prescription. Maybe the eye strain is
giving her headaches so she can't think straight and she isn't or can't
express it. 2) conspitation. She is far from regular. She has had bowel
issues for years. Maybe the whole pooping thing causes enough anxiety that
is always on here mind and she loses track of what she is doing? YOU try
giving her a suppository! or forcing down Colase. I dare ya. Been down that
road.
Grace has told Becky before that her head was all jumbly. Maybe that means
something.
Any advice is greatly appreciated but please keep in mind that physical
discipline is NOT an option.

What a day!

I woke up on the wrong side today. Right from the get-go I have been crabby. (hold on, need to add Gojira to my winamp. ahhh there we go) I was not very nice to Grace this morning and I think that messed up her day. She wouldn't follow instructions at school today and actually refused to so some things and got timeouts. Very distressing. She is having some issues right now with authority, telling the truth, and defiance. We have some stuff to try.

I bought some Hemp Beer today. Made by Cool Beer Brewery in Toronto. It doesn't taste bad at all. Or like marijuana. And it's HEMP not marijuana so I am not getting high on it. lol. They use hemp instead of barley. German hops. Good stuff. At the LCBO. It's a red lager in case you want to know.

I made pancakes from scratch tonight. cornmeal pancakes with butternut squash to be exact. From some cookbook. God damn tasty, I'll tell ya that!!! Whole wheat flour too. Oh yum!! I have tons left over. Breakfast!!

I didn't end of watchin either movie from my last post. I watched Some Kind of Monster. The Metallica documentary. Loved it. I love metal docs. I might start watching Black Metal: A documentary tonight. That or Get Thrashed.

88 Minutes

Becky and I watched the movie 88 Minutes the other night. Very good movie.
Al Pacino and lots of suspense, keep you guessing, all that good stuff. One
major flaw: Leelee Sobieski.
She sucks.
Like she's really bad at acting. I'm serious. I don't how she lands roles!
(I have some ideas....) She's not even hot! (She REALLY reminds me of my
sister, so that makes it kinda a creepy)?
So basically, yeah, Leelee Sobieski is a terrible actress.

While she is a better actor, I find Kirsten Dunst nauseating. It's her
teeth. They are all messed up. I don't know how to spell the sound I just
made.

Who else sucks? Martin Lawrence. I can't stand that guy.

Should I watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars or Pineapple Express tonight? I
can't decide.

To-do list for the next week or so

Just in case I lose my list....

Measure living rooms and get numbers to Dave
Call Purolator to arrange a pickup
Mail books back
Help TL with internet
Get the scooter inside
Strip down the van for parts
Scrap van
Make dentist appt.
Make appt with eye doctor
Make appt with Dr. Kenny for orthotics prescription
Give myself a haircut
Give the backrooms a good tidy up/organize/pitch shit out
Call StarChoice to activate second receiver
Burn movies off the MyBook
Download missed Heroes episodes
Download missed Clone Wars episodes
Make wedges for doorways
Lobby solar system to slow the rotation of the earth so there is more
daytime to get everything done and more nighttime to sleep, without
altering the gravitational pull.

You used a paint scraper to clean out your eavesthroughs??

yes. yes I did.
I needed to get in done yesterday and it was all frozen in there.
So, I hacked at it for a bit until I was able to pull a chunk of ice-leaves
out. Then it was simply a matter of sliding the scraper under the ice and
popping a chunk up. It worked pretty good! My hands didn't get cold because
they didn't get wet.
I also got all my brush broken up and piled for the town to take away
(which they did).
Now, there is still alot of leaves in the flower beds but I am going to
leave (no pun intented) them til Spring. Little compost and insulation.
My grass could actually stand to be cut. I could do it just to use up the
gas still in the lawnmower. But it's November and below zero, so maybe I'll
pass.

So I'm 30 now.

I turned 30 years old on Saturday. No big deal, it's just 30. Maybe it is a
big deal. 30 years is a long time!! that's like half a lifetime!! But by
the time I am 60, technology will have advances to a point where, if they
can't cure it, they can at least put my brain into like a machine that I
can manipulate with my thoughts. Frank Herbert called them cymeks. They
could live forever and for a time, they ruled the galaxy. Until they were
overthrown by thinking machines. But I digress.
I got a new shirt from Becky and the girls, and I had pizza for supper.
Chad and Kelly came over and we watched a dumb, pointless yet funny movie
(Smiley Face).
The real fun was a few weeks ago at my surprise party. Did I blog about
that?
I think I did.
Enough of that crap, now to the raunchy sex!! Oh wait, that's my other
blog. JUST KIDDING!!!! haha not really. check it out at
www.theadventuresoflittlematty.com
You clicked on it, didn't you! Perverts!! Just kidding, perverts.

you know, every time I blog I get that Bonnie Raite (that doesn' look right
but you know who it is) song "Let's give 'em something to talk about" in my
head. But instead it's "Let's think of something to blog about". Try it,
it's fun.

Becky picked me up a sleeping mask a few weeks ago. Man, do I ever sleep
good with that on. Like a log! Best $3 we ever spent!

Well, I'm out of ideas at the moment.
Bye!,

Sorry it's been so long

Sorry it's been so long since last I blogged, loyal readers!!
It's not really that nothing has happened, but rather, that alot has
happened!! Life happened.
Amelia's vocab is exploding. My fave new word is poop. hahahaha
" I poop?"
I was driving with Amelia in the car the other day listening to Cavalera
Conspiracy and I can see her banging her fist and nodding her head in the
back. Awesome! She does let out the occasional "rah, rah rah!!" too which
is really cool. I'll warp her mind yet. Grace was the same way at that age
but now "Daddy's music is scary". Meh.

I did a bunch of leaf raking this week. I don't have much yard but I
managed to get 16 leaf bags full so far. Probably another 2 in the gardens
around the driveway. Monday? Tuesday?

I still need to sell my van. Scrap yard will ony give me $125. sucks ASS!!
the tires are worth more than that. I hope the only dude left interested
comes to get it soon. I'll relist it on Kijiji tomorrow.

The time has come for me to get musical. I forsee some time ahead where I
may be able to plug in the amp and give'r. I need to find some scream time
too. I am way out of practice and that's not good. Conditioning is key.

I got a Blackhawks toque in my case of beer. Good times.

I'll be 30 years old in about 40 minutes. I will start the celebration by
eating some leftovers.

I hope I have time to clean out the car tomorrow. That would make me happy.
and then wash the car and the van. That would make me happy too. Like a
good washing. i really want to wipe down inside the doors of the car. not
the door itself but where the door overlaps the body. It's all dusty and
dirty and I want to clean it. Maybe when I stop for dogfood in the morning
I can get some sponges or something to wash the car. cleaning clothes or
some special thinger. one sponge is not enough. whatever. As long as it
gets cleaned out and shop-vacced it will be a happy birthday.

later dudes!