Wednesday, June 15, 2016

STOP SPREADING HATEFUL BULLSHIT!!!!



Fair warning: Explicit language throughout.

First of all, I do NOT under any circumstances endorse the picture above. But I AM sick and fucking tired of ignorant, misinformed bullshit such as this being passed around social media as fact. Since when do Canadian kids not sing the national anthem at school? My kids do every day! Sometimes even on weekends! Besides, Oh! Canada is not a prayer! So you're comparing apples and oranges anyway! If we want to make the world a better place, this kind of bigoted misinformation needs to stop. Attitudes need to change. TOLERANCE, ACCEPTANCE, LOVE and CO-OPERATION are the keys to opening up a better society. Hate, ignorance, bigotry and discrimination are the locks standing in the way.

STOP OPPRESSING RELIGIOUS FREEDOM THROUGH HATE!!! THAT'S NOT WHAT CANADA IS ABOUT!!!

Branching also into the general hate on Muslims that comes in the wake of events like Orlando...Do you ever consider the heartbreak “regular” Muslims must feel when the extremists (and those claiming to be extremists) commit these atrocities? How would you feel if a bunch of wackos started killing people in the name of your “God”? Started a Holy War against the unbelievers? (Uh, the Crusades anyone?) “In the name of Jesus Christ, DIE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!” and then all the “every day Christians” get painted with same extremist brush? Wouldn't like that, would you! That's not fair, is it?! Well...

What is you Christians say? “Love one another as I have loved you.” There's no fine print, no qualifiers, no exceptions to the rule. If you truly believe in this most basic of Jesus' teachings and continue to spread hate and intolerance, you're no better than the extremists. Don't hate. But if you're going to hate someone, hate them because they're an ASSHOLE not because they're different than you. That makes YOU the asshole. Don't be a righteous fucking hypocrite sitting on your high horse. FYI, according to Dante hypocrites end up in the 8th Circle of Hell. There's only one worse. Hypocrites are doomed to suffer by plodding around the circle eternally wearing heavy robes covered in gold. A fitting punishment for the sin of appearing holy on the outside but bearing the heavy weight of deceit on the inside. You're weighing down the advancement of the human race, man!

Hey, if this offends you go ahead an unfriend me, block me, delete me. I don't fucking care! It's fucking Facebook or Twitter or whatever. I don't care. And I've got no time, patience or place in my soul for shit like this. We're all made of the same space dust. We all breathe the same air. We all bleed red. We're all human beings. Know your facts. Stop spreading hate, lies and motherfucking BULLSHIT.

“Turn the other cheek” doesn't exactly work. Murderers need to be held accountable no matter what their motivations. But labelling the many on the actions of the few and spreading hate and intolerance is misguided, sad, and doesn't make you a better person. It does the opposite. The world is vast and the people are different. If you don't like that, deal with it. If you don't like me, deal with it. If you don't like what I have to say, deal with it. You may be able to clear your conscience, but you'll never cleanse your soul. Not with hate.


Rant done. Day ruined. Oh well. To quote another Christian, “Onward and upward!”

Friday, January 24, 2014

They Can Only Get Older From Here

I'm not embarrassed. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I got a vasectomy this week. There, I said it. I'm 35. We have three beautiful children. Getting "fixed" doesn't seem like an outrageous thing to do at this point in ours lives. Becky was constantly bringing it up to me. It wasn't that she was pushing me. Not at all. I just don't remember to make phone calls. One of my many flaws. Once I made the call to meet with my doctor about it, it was kind of a non-issue. Becky and I were more than content with our girls. Even though we both would like to have had a boy the odds weren't really in our favour. Besides, I would never want the girls to think that having a boy would somehow diminish how we feel about them. Our girls are strong, smart, independent and can tackle anything they put their minds to. Why would we want anything more?
The girls themselves said they want(ed) a brother and it was hard to tell them that it wasn't going to happen. As bad as it sounds, we just can't afford it. That does sound bad and it's not what I mean exactly. Sure we could makes end meet but it's more fiscally responsible I suppose. I mean, as parents, in the collective sense, we always want to do better for our children, right? So at what point do we decide that what we have is enough. Not having enough bedrooms was a good start. But it just made sense at three. We want to be able to provide everything we can for our girls. It breaks our heart when have to keep the purse strings closed. So as much as it pains me to say it, this decision was partially financially motivated. We want to be able to take the girls to dance and piano lessons, and out to the movies without even thinking about it. And not have to sacrifice those things to pay for diapers or all the other baby stuff. We want to make the girls feel as important as they are. Plus, they're girls so at some point they're gonna want to go shopping. ALL THE TIME. I can see it coming. Then college/university. Then marriage. Oh, don't say that!
Really, before I had the procedure I never really thought about it. It wasn't a hard decision to make so I didn't stew over it. But now that it's over and done, and I can't go back, I'm thinking about it a lot. I don't regret the decision in the slightest, it's still the right choice, but the permanence of it has started to sink in. For 10 years, almost our entire married life, we've had a little kid or a baby around. Ruby isn't a baby anymore. So now it's just little kids. Then they'll be big kids. Teenagers. Adults. They can only get older from here. The thought of never holding a tiny little baby all your own again is pretty heavy. Never again will a newborn child be fully dependant on Becky and I. As a parent it's a hard thing to grip because that's our job. Our job is to take care of our children. And now, with every day that passes our three girls grow one day closer to taking care of themselves. I'm sure that's why some families just keep having kids. They need to take care of something.
But as big a pill as never having more children can be to swallow, it has sharpened my appreciation for Grace, Amelia and Ruby. It's clear now that these are my only children so I need to cherish that fact. Focus on it. I need to commit myself to doing the best I can raising them because I won't get another chance. There are plenty more lessons to learn but the situations they apply to will continue to evolve. Instead of potty-training it'll be boyfriends. (Not that going potty and dating involve the same lessons. You know what I mean!) Instead of riding a bike, it'll be driving a car. Instead of playing "house", they'll be moving out of the house.
Ya sure, before long unprotected sex will be a no-brainer but the real benefit of unloading the gun (hehehe) has been that increased feeling of love for my three girls and that drive to be the best dad I can be for them. I don't know if the girls have noticed, or if Becky has noticed, but I've noticed a change in me. I hug them more. Kiss their little heads more. I pay more attention. I'm looking at a picture of Grace and Amelia eating ice cream as Ruby sits behind me picking her nose and my heart is just bursting. I still have work to do but these are my girls and now I can love them with everything I have. And Becky too, of course. That's a different kind of love ;)
Can someone pass me some more Tylenol?

Sunday, February 17, 2013

On Being Normal

I often think about being normal. But what is normal really? There is always someone out there that feels the same as you, does the same things, is the same kind of person. Maybe you're the ones who are normal. Just as normal as anybody else. Who's to say? Maybe all the people you consider normal are really the ones who are messed up, subconsciously (or not) playing a game, acting a part so society views them as normal. Presenting a facade. Upholding a reputation or expectation. But aren't we all just acting? No one is ever 100% who they want to be all the time. There is always a little part of us that holds back, or something we keep behind. The world is still too judgmental for everyone to be free. To be totally, uninhibitedly who they are. Someday maybe.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Some ramblings regarding the Sandy Hook tragedy

In light of recent events in Connecticut involving the senseless murder of 27 people including 20 children aged 6 and 7 at Sandy Hook Elementary, I really got thinking about the issue of guns and gun control. Guns serve one purpose: killing. Now since I hold as close to the precept of non-harming as I can (I don't even kill spiders), guns have no place in my life. One could argue that they only use guns for target practice. What are you practicing FOR? There's plenty of other things you could be doing to hone your hand-eye coordination. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite in saying that because I've always been attracted to archery. But you can't walk into a theatre or a school with a long bow and a quiver of arrows (or walk down the street for that matter) without it being noticed. "Man kills 8 in downtown mall with a bow and arrow before turning the bow on himself." You don't hear that. And hiding a strung bow in your pocket or pant leg doesn't really work. It's just far too easy to access guns and use them on people, hidden or not. In a society like America where the gun culture is so ingrained that owning a hand gun is no big deal, you know bad things will, and have, happened. Not to mention automatic weapons. People can actually buy them!! The easier it is to access something, the more likely it is to be used. That just makes sense. So take this scenario. Two people in a heated argument. Regular people. Things get really ugly. In situation A, there are guns close at hand. In situation B, there are no guns. Which one do you think will end worse? Gunshot, or black eye? Hmmmmm There's a big difference between having a hand gun on your hip or a rifle locked in a cabinet at home. In most cases, you would hope that separating yourself from the situation to go get a gun would allow you too cool off and rethink what you are doing. In pre-meditated cases, that changes but in everyday life? Come on. I can't imagine living somewhere where people walk around with guns out in the open, or in their purse or whatever. I just can't. It's frightening to think about. I've seen stats (on Facebook. Grain of salt, I know.) that show that in countries such as Canada with no gun culture and strict gun control legislation, hand gun fatalities per year are less than 100. In America, over 10,000. Even if you look at it per capita, the math still doesn't add up. America has roughly 10 times the population as Canada. So one could likely expect 10 times the number of hand gun fatalities, or about 1000. But no, it's 10 times THAT. This is off side people. Something has to change! I'm not advocating a complete ban on firearms, or even a ban on civilians owning guns of any kind. Putting all the firepower in the hands of authority is a recipe for disaster. But hey, an entire world without guns would be pretty frickin' sweet.
Here's another argument. "I need it for protection." From who? OTHER PEOPLE WITH GUNS. So take the guns away from the everyday man, and the kid with mental illness, or the guy who just can't fucking take it anymore, the need for and method of protection changes drastically. You can't run away from a bullet. There will always be criminals and people with twisted souls who will find a way to get what they need. You can't change that but you can change the prevalence of instruments of death in the general population. Peace and love brothers and sisters. People shouldn't need to live in fear. It's sad. It's really sad. This Sandy Hook shooting is just as much about mental health as it is gun control. The problem is, mental health is much harder to spot than a gun. Mental health is much easier to hide as well. I've struggled with mental health issues before and to all but the very closest to me, nothing would have appeared amiss. It seldom does. And as a society we need to get better about openly discussing mental health and depression. I think that's the biggest step that has to be made.
Then today I read about this radical Baptist church from Topeka that plans to picket outside Sandy Hook Elementary with the message that the shooter WAS ACTING OUT GOD'S WILL. They're basically saying that this was God working through the shooter to exact his vengeance on the shameful sinners that support gay marriage. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?!?! OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE!!!! They were children!!! Most of them probably don't even know what gay means!! WHAT KIND OF GOD KILLS HIS OWN CHILDREN TO PROVE A POINT ABOUT WHO YOU CAN LOVE???? ABSOLUTELY BAT SHIT INSANE LOGIC!!! That comes nowhere close to even making a lick of sense. It's hateful nonsense. It's disgusting. It's that kind of attitude, that belief, of justifying the murder of CHILDREN over gay marriage that is more appalling, more saddening that the shooting itself! The shooter was not of sound mind. These people apparently are! At least from a diagnostic perspective. I tell you what, non-harming be damned, if I was one of the parents of those poor children, I would personally beat the very life out of anyone who justified those kilings with my bare hands. That sort of speech, that kind of hate, is unforgivable. It would actually be doing those bigot assholes a favour. By mashing their disgusting faces into a pile of pulp until their life drains away would be saving them from a lifetime of generating bad karma. (I'll have to do some serious karma cleansing for even saying that.) But that sort of behaviour is not acceptable. They should be jailed just the same as anyone else spreading the message of hate. It's just so very very wrong. I don't care what religion you follow, Baptist, Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, or whatever, it doesn't matter. KILLING IN THE NAME OF GOD DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. THOU SHALT NOT KILL. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. NO RIGHTEOUS GOD WOULD WORK THAT WAY.
And I am surprised I haven't heard more about the conspiracy theories purporting that this shooting (and the Batman shooting in Colorado) were government operations designed to scare the populace into accepting government actions they would otherwise be opposed to. (All as directed by their serpent overlords.) It's called problem-reaction-solution. Same as 9/11. Like this, Problem: Gov't wants to take the firearms out of the hands of the population. No way that's gonna happen. What do they do? Orchestrate a terrible tragedy that hopefully gets the population to scream for what the gov't initially wanted to propose. Gun control. That's the reaction. The solution, at the public's demand, they enact strict gun control legislation. The people get what they want (guns off our streets!!) and the gov't gets what they want (the first step towards a police state). See how that works? But it didn't work after Colorado so they had to up the ante. I'm not saying I believe that theory but in some cases, it's more believable than "the official story". If you think the gov't wouldn't kill innocent children, think again. Innocent children are killed in wars lead by the US all the time. It doesn't matter if it's in Afghaniston, Iraq or right in America, innocent children are innocent children. Yet in war, it's deemed acceptable, merely casualties. Again, I'm not saying I believe this theory (at least not necessarily in this case) but I can't totally discount it either. It makes about as much sense as some kid snapping because his mother controlled him, killing her THEN going to a school and going on a rampage. I'll admit he was mentally ill but if this was about control, I don't think it would have went down like that. Maybe I read too much Icke or Tsarion but I don't trust governments. I'm not saying this is my theory, I'm just saying I'm surprised I  haven't heard much of that theory being thrown around regarding this shooting. Maybe I've just been avoiding the outlets where I would hear it because I don't want to think children died for that reason. I dunno.
 
Well, I've sufficiently filled my time and gotten some stuff off my chest.
Let the arguing begin. (at least on the first few and last issues. You can't possibly side with the Baptists.)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Sorry. I hate "The Harper Government".

Well, I'm not really sorry. I just got an email from The Green Party discussing all that Harper and all the lobbyists he's pandering to have done to destroy Canada's environmental reputation. I want to share it with you.


Dear Matthew,
There is no shortage of compelling issues to discuss in a Hill Times Environmental Policy briefing.  Even listing, without describing, the catalogue of assaults on environmental law and policy by the prime minister in the last 12 months is enough to occupy the whole issue.
Canada undermined global climate negotiations in Durban in December, negotiated in bad faith, and immediately announced intent to withdraw from the Kyoto Protocol when the Environment Minister touched down on Canadian soil. Natural Resources Minister Joe Oliver kicked off the New Year with an assault on environmentalists and First Nations as “radicals.”  The Prime Minister attacked environmental groups for accepting foreign funding, even as he courted Communist Party controlled state operations from China as investors in the oil sands.  One Parliamentary Secretary said anyone opposed to pipelines and tankers was “against Canada.”  When asked to withdraw the remark as un-parliamentary, she refused.
The legislative juggernaut, C-38, repealed the Canadian Environmental Assessment Act, replacing a coherent piece of legislation with a discretionary formula for confusion, conflict and court cases.  The gutting of the Fisheries Act raised the ire of four former federal Ministers of Fisheries.  Environment Minister Peter Kent insulted the four former ministers, suggesting they had not read the Act.  Mulroney era Minister Tom Siddon showed up to testify before the sub-committee on Finance and in short order made it clear he may be the only Minister who has read the act.  While Fisheries Minister Keith Ashfield tried to claim the new Fisheries Act will improve habitat protection, the assault to habitat is real, underscored by the subsequent lay-off notices to all DFO habitat officers in British Columbia. The National Round Table on the Environment and Economy is scrapped.  The Species at Risk Act and Navigable Waters Protection Act amended to allow the National Energy Board to assume jurisdiction of endangered species or navigable waters are in the way of any pipeline.
Basic science and monitoring is being savaged with the end of funding to the Canadian Foundation of Climate and Atmospheric Science, elimination of the Adaptation research group within Environment Canada, the cuts to ozone monitoring, the closure of the Polar Arctic and Environmental Laboratory (PEARL) in Eureka, the sale of the 58 lakes in the globally unique Experimental Lakes Area near Kenora, Ontario, the elimination of the marine contaminants programme within DFO, the loss of scientists in Natural Resources Canada to study ice cores data (and the hope to find a university with a large fridge willing to take the 80,000 year ice core record Canada’s government no longer wants), the end of monitoring smoke stack emissions, cut backs in the Canada Oil and Gas research group in Halifax, and cuts at NSERC (Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada) resulting in the closing of the Yukon Research Lab at Yukon College in Whitehorse.
The thin end of the wedge of privatization has hit National Parks – first Jasper and then the hot springs at Banff, while cuts to ecological staff in the parks compelled former Deputy Minister Jacques Gerin to call on Harper to stop gutting National Parks.
It is a blitzkrieg of bad news as cut-backs and programme cancellation hit the core areas of federal responsibility to protect nature.  The multi-faceted assault has the effect of blinding media and the public to the largest threat.  In 2012, Canada still has no plan to address the threat of climate change.
While Stephen Harper has succeeded in dramatically reducing the Canadian media coverage of climate science through the muzzling of government scientists, the atmosphere does not seem to have gotten the memo.  Around the world, the force and frequency of severe weather events has woken up even the mainstream US media.  Fires, floods, tornadoes, heat waves are wreaking havoc on agriculture and running up the bills to the insurance industry.  The culprit for much of this year’s strange weather phenomenon is the rapidly warming Arctic.  As the Arctic warms the differential in temperature between the Arctic and the Equator becomes less pronounced. That causes the jet stream to lose its straight and fast course. (Francis, Vavrus study, Rutgers/Univ of Wisconsin). Slowing down, it has allowed large low pressure systems and high pressure systems to sit for far longer periods than normal in one place --  causing flooding in the low pressure zones and heat waves and fires in the high zones.
Loss of agriculture, losses to floods and fires also cost the economy, as well as human lives. Despite the Prime Minister’s attempts to destroy the collection of data, the evidence of the climate crisis is all around us.  We are sabotaging our children’s future – but what does it matter as long as the bitumen flows?

We're fucked. 

Friday, July 6, 2012

I almost ate an ant.

When an ant bites you on the lip, it really hurts. How do I know? I have a throbbing welt on my lip. That's how I know. Let me give you the whole story.
I have a vegetable garden, and in that garden I grow lettuce. This year I am growing Buttercrunch and Red Sails. Two tasty heirloom varieties that blow away the chemically treated store-bought crap I buy the rest of the year. This morning I harvested some of the crop. Just enough for supper or perhaps to bring in my lunch tonight. I brought it in and left it in a bowl. Before I left for work I took the roots off and washed and spun the lettuce. I knew it wasn't perfect but it is said that you eat a peck of dirt before you die. No big deal. So I'm munching away on my salad like a good little bunny (which have yet to invade my veggies. Knock on wood.) when I feel an intense stabbing pain on my upper lip. My first thought was "Why is there something sharp in my salad?" But when I put my fingers to my lip they came away holding a squirming ant! I flung the little bastard to the ground. I have no idea whether it survived or not. (It didn't, I went back and checked.) And I'm assuming it was a bastard because I believe most ants are male, ants don't get married, and I highly doubt the queen could tell me who that ant's father was. And it bit me. I can hardly blame the ant though. Can you imagine what the experiences he endured over the day would have been like? The majority was probably alright. Just hanging out in an environment very similar to his previous locale with a few buddies. (There were other ants) But then his whole world was turned upside down.
Violent motions as I lift the lettuce from the bowl and cut the bottoms of the leaves. Clinging for dear life as I repeatedly rinse and shake the excess water from the produce. Whirling and whirling as the vitamin rich roughage is spun like a centrifuge only to be stuffed inside a virtually air-tight box to suffocate. When at last a rush of cool fresh air washes over the bastard's thorax, he again can feel hope. That hope is quickly dashed as the ant's unfathomably huge torturer douses ant and fibrous greens alike in zesty Italian dressing. Next, the worst of the ordeal thus far. The lid is once again snapped shut and the whole prison is thrown back and forth with whiplash inducing fervor. The bastard now realizes his captor is a relentless sadist and his only chance for survival is escape. In a doubtless disoriented state the bastard desperately tries to find a way out. But now it appears his demented nemesis is done toying with his quarry. Panic begins to set in as the demon thrusts his pitchfork of death right through the very leaves the bastard sought to hide under and stuffs them into his maw, masticating them into oblivion. Against all odds, the bastard steels his resolve and decides not to go down without a fight. The queen would expect better than for one of her soldiers to die a coward. The bastard anticipates his adversary's next move. Narrowly avoiding his end by the prong of the weapon, the warrior manoeuvres himself into attack position as he is lifted towards the demon's gaping mouth. At the last possible moment, he springs from hiding and lands on the precipice. His presence does not appear to be detected by the unholy beast. Salvation is at hand. Escape is within his grasp. As retribution for the horrors the demon has subjected the poor, innocent ant to, the warrior gives the beast a parting shot before fleeing to freedom. With a battlecry of "For the Queen!!" the bastard warrior sinks his venomous mandibles into the vulnerable flesh with every microscopic ounce of his exoskeleton encrusted being. Too quickly the monster reacts to the searing pain radiating across his grizzled face and plucks our would-be hero from his anchor in a vice-like grip and with a look of disgust, flings the brave soldier to his doom.
This is where the ant's story ends. Whether the bastard succumbed to his injuries or was crushed under the gargantuan weight of some other equally foul beast is not known. His flattened body still lies discarded and forgotten on a cafeteria floor. His noble brothers and regal queen will never know of his bravery in the face of certain death. The ant bards will sing no tales of The Bastard. Only you dear reader, will know the truth of what happened that fateful evening.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Out of the Silent Planet

I recently finished reading Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis. It was published in 1938 as the first part of Lewis' Space Trilogy. (We're talking pre-Narnia here people.) It is presented as a fictionalized account of real events. The whole "names have been changed to protect the innocent (and guilty)" line. I am sure at the time, the more open-minded of readers may have found this to be an entirely plausible, if somewhat fantastic, story. Given the technological advances in the last 75 years and mankind's more "hands-on" exploration of the celestial bodies within our solar system, the believability of the events in the book are greatly diminished. However, when it comes to space, I don't rule anything out. And I strongly believe that our knowledge of "outer space" and our relationship with it is exponentially larger than what we are "allowed" to know. Chew on that.
Anyway.
In the book, our protagonist whom Lewis has called Ransom, stumbles upon two less-than-noble scientists on a walk in the countryside. The scientists subsequently drug and kidnap Ransom and whisk him away on a space ship to the planet Malacandra (Mars) as an offering to some equally ignoble members of one of that planet's many sentient species. Ransom escapes his would be sellers before the transaction is completed and is taken in by a member of a different Malacandran species. Here he learns the common Malacandran language, the basic history of the different regions, and the nature and specializations of the planet's intelligent races.
As in any Lewis work I have read, religion or at least the idea of a "God" plays a key role in the storyline. Ransom eventually gains an audience with the planet's "deity" called Oyarsa. Not so much a person as an etheric entity, the Oyarsa is but that planet's aspect of a greater, universal presence, Maledil. Oyarsa goes on to explain that every planet has it's own Oyarsa. In addition, there exist the formless eldil. The eldil are able to communicate with physical beings in a more or less telepathic way and reside in the cold wastes of space, or "the heavens" but can "be" anywhere. The closest approximation to something an Earthling might understand would be an angel. During the course of Ransom's education we learn that Earth is called Thulcandra. (So THAT'S where the band got their name!) Thulcandra means "the Silent Planet". The story of Thulcandra parallels that of Lucifer. Thulcandra's Oyarsa became power hungry and struck out at the surrounding celestial bodies. With one hand he laid waste to the moon and with the other struck out at Malacandra, destroying its upper plateaus and relegating its life to deep, thin valleys. As punishment, Maledil imprisoned the Thulcandran Oyarsa in its own planet and cut it off from the collective universal consciousness. Hence, the Silent Planet.
The Malacandrans don't have a word for evil. They refer to Thulcandra's Oyarsa (and the aforementioned ignoble Malacandrans) as "bent". I think this is a brilliant way to describe human nature and more or less humanity in general. I believe that at our core, individuals and humanity as a whole are by nature "good". But we have become bent. More specifically our minds are bent. Since actions occur as the result of a thought, if our minds are bent, our actions will be bent as well. We see this in the amount of anger, selfishness, greed, hatred, etc. that dominates our society.
What if Earth really is The Silent Planet? What if we have been cast aside as the proverbial black sheep of the family by the innumerable societies of the universe? We have been conditioned - intentionally? - to believe that extra-terrestrial intelligences are inherently malicious. That if they come it will be to exploit and destroy our people and planet. But perhaps the opposite is the reality. Perhaps the qualities of peace and co-operation are predominant in the universe and we have been isolated to protect the rest of creation from our demonstrated potential for malevolence. Ours is an ugly world. War and death surround us. We demonstrate little to no reverence for the planet that sustains us. Day by day we inch closer to rendering our planet uninhabitable. Maledil forbid such a cruel, destructive and blind "civilization" be allowed to perpetuate itself beyond its own borders.
If this is the sort of statement Lewis was trying to make with Out of the Silent Planet I shudder to think what his perception of humanity would be today. In the last 75 years the destruction of our planet has accelerated, our hatred and destruction of our fellow man continues unabated. Technological advances intended to make our lives easier and thus happier and more fulfilling has only driven us further into ourselves. They've only continued to feed our desire for bigger, better, more. A desire that can never be fully satiated. Materialism will never be the means to ultimate happiness. Until we realize that (and realize the true nature of existence) we will always be a black mark on the face of creation.
But just as the potential for salvation lies within even the darkest of souls, there will always be hope for humanity. The past, present and future are lit by the shining jewels of potential for humanity to break free of the chains we've imprisoned ourselves in. Those people who serve as examples of all that is good and right and virtuous. The Mayan calendar ends this December. It is said that it marks "the end of the world as we know it". One can only hope that the change it marks is a change in the positive direction. That finally the resonant frequency of our planet will be elevated beyond the negativity that shackles both our individual and collective consciousnesses up to that of love, compassion and acceptance. (Yes, I've been reading Icke.) And that by freeing ourselves from our prison we are able to fully realize all there is to know about ourselves, our neighbours and the whole of existence.
If book one of the trilogy has been this inspirational and thought-provoking, I'm very intrigued to see how revelatory books two and three are!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

GIGANTOUR (Megadeth, Motorhead, Volbeat, Lacuna Coil) @ the KRC, Kingston, ON Feb 5, 2012

Kingston has certainly had bigger concerts than this, but to the best of my knowledge, this is the biggest METAL concert to come to town. And it would have to be on Super Bowl Sunday too. No matter. Metal trumps football every time. The turnout at the K-Rock Centre was about what I expected (i.e. not sold out) but from what I understand, the crowd wasn't as rowdy as they should have been. I was 2-5 people deep front and center. Things were plenty rowdy down there. I had seen Megadeth play an acoustic set over 10 years ago but I'd never seen them play a real show. I've been listening to Megadeth for almost 20 years so I've waited a long time. Back in high school I couldn't get enough Megadeth. So needless to say, I was pretty excited. For this version of Gigantour, MegaDave chose a diverse mix of bands in Lacuna Coil, Volbeat and the legendary Motorhead.
 
Lacuna Coil opened the show to a somewhat sparse but relatively enthusiastic crowd. Some derisive comments were thrown about but the younger group seemed to really embrace them. I'm considering reviewing Dark Adrenaline so I won't go into too much detail. But the band did what they do to an effective degree. They belted out their radio-ready metal in an entertaining show. I will say I enjoyed them live more than on record. However, the male compliment to vocalist Christina Scabbia, Andrea Ferro, sounded a little flat. Maybe he was having an off night. All in all, they did a good job warming the crowd up. They were a lot better than most of the opening bands I see around town. They promised to come back as headliners but I bet they say that everywhere. I spoke with Lacuna Coil's manager (Adam "Doom" Sewell. You know him.) for an hour or so before the show and he was going to take me back to meet the bands but by the time Megadeth was done, Christina was already prepped for bed and everyone else booked it as well. Maybe next time.
 
Before Sunday night, I'd had zero exposure to Volbeat. So anything that didn't suck would be a pleasant surprise. Well, they didn't suck. They played a sort of metalized punkabilly. Lots of energy, great presence. As much as I wanted to be that "It's not fuckin' Megadeth. Fuck this." guy, I still found my toes tappin' or head noddin' for most of their set. It wasn't necessarily something I would seek out on my own but I was definitely not disappointed. Quite and interesting blend of influences. The sometimes Elvis-like and most times Load-era Hetfield vocal style (without some of the more annoying mannerisms) lends itself very well to singing along. I wouldn't be surprised at all if I found out these guys have a dedicated fan base. I did see quite a few Volbeat shirts making there way back in to the arena during the break. Thanks to them, I saw something I never expected to see before though. People moshing to a Johnny Cash cover. First time for everything. Speaking of covers, they teased us with the beginning of Slayer's "Raining Blood". Don't DO that! You get a guy all excited and then nothin'. I think the most interesting bit of info I learned was that Hank Shermann of Mercyful Fate fame was filling in on guitar for the tour. I'm not a huge MF fan, but that's still pretty cool.
 
I know Motorhead but I don't KNOW Motorhead. (I think the band itself is older than I am.) So I wasn't as outwardly excited as a large contingent of the older crowd. I do know enough that I recognize the worth in seeing them live. What metal fan doesn't want to see Motorhead? Lemmy is a legend. From the spot I was, I couldn't hear the vocals very well but even if I had, how much of it could I have understood anyway, right? I'm not sure what else I can say here. It was Motorhead playing Motorhead songs. They aren't flashy or anything. Well, except drummer Mikkey Dee. Dude is like Animal! He's a beast! Adam told me he was going to do a drum solo and it was un-fucking-real. Lemmy said he was the "best drummer in the world" and he played like it. It was pretty special. And I tell ya, if I didn't already have permanent hearing damage (tinnitus), I would after that set. It was so loud!  Maybe not Jucifer loud, but louder than anyone else that night. Another legendary band to check off on my list of "have seen live". I can't die happy yet though.
 
The Megadeth lineup of Mustaine, Ellefson, Broderick and Drover is as good as any lineup they've had. Yes, as good as the Rust In Peace lineup. And it's great to see Ellefson back in the band. Back when I started playing bass, "the other Dave" was someone I really looked up to. In fact, "Trust" was one of the first songs I learned to play. Coincidentally, "Trust" was the set opener! I hear the entire set list is available on the Cyber Army forums but I'll give some highlights. I missed a lot of the between songs banter because a) I wasn't in a good spot to hear the vocals to begin with. Good thing I knew pretty much all the words anyway; b) Some drunk fucker was basically just yelling the whole time in my vicinity; and c) some other ass requesting "Bite the Hand" between every song. Right behind me. So apparently. MegaDave asked if everyone was sleeping because the crowd was so tame. At the edge of the pit, where I was, it wasn't that tame. You would think you were at a hardcore show the way people were moshing. Megadeth isn't mosh music. Maybe I'm just getting old. I will tell you this, the crowd got some energy when Dave said this next one is about "little green men" and launched into "Hanger 18". I got nostalgic when they played the song that got me into Megadeth with "Symphony of Destruction". I believe they played 3 songs off the new album, TH1RT3EN, including "Public Enemy No. 1"and "Who's Life (Is It Anyway)". As expected/hoped for, Christina Scabbia joined them on stage for the updated version of "A Tout Le Monde". I lost my shit when Vic Rattlehead made an appearance for "Peace Sells". My constantly sleep deprived brain is having trouble with the details but I know they played "Wake Up Dead", "In My Darkest Hour" and "Sweating Bullets". Did that one ever bring back high school memories! I fully intended to keep track of the setlist but for a good majority of the set I couldn't move my arms enough to get my phone out. The "sleeping" crowd had me pinned between a fat guy, a drunk chick, and Decibel Reader of the Month, Gabe Hugh. Of course, what Megadeth show would be complete without set closer, "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due." By playing a collection of songs covering almost the entire spectrum of their career, Megadeth has emphasized how consistent they've been. I can say that I walked away from my first real Megadeth show fully satisfied. Walking away uninjured was a bonus too. I just hope I don't have to wait another 10 years to see them again.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

2012 New Year's Goals

I've never really liked the "resolutions" tag. I prefer to use goals. It sounds better. So, in addition to the 2011 goals that I didn't exactly meet, I've added a few more.
 
Get in better shape: We have a treadmill and a weight bench now. I just need to make the time to use them. That's the hard part. The weight lifting and running is the easy part. And when the weather is nice, ride my bike!
 
Be more environmentally conscious: I already am a tree hugger and recycling freak but I can do more. I need to be more diligent. Sometimes I can get lazy and toss something that could go in the recycle just because I am tired or in a hurry. Especially with paper. Along with this, I need to continue to follow my guidelines for fuel efficient driving. Maybe even be better at that too. I also need to get my ebike fixed. Scoot! I'd like to burn more wood this year too. Not that I want to cut down trees but it's better than burning oil. It's renewable!
 
Expand my gardens: I had one 4x8 raised bed last year and it worked out great. I plan to put in 3 more this spring. VEGGIES!! And I plan to get some more trees. Hopefully some fruit ones.

Get new glasses and orthotics: I was due for both last year but just never got around to it. I really need to. My eyes and feet (and whole body) will thank me. Anyone have like $800 they want to lend me? You'll get it right back.

Monday, January 16, 2012

New Year's Resolutions from 2011 Recap

So last year I made some resolutions.  I didn't do a very good job of keeping them. Who does? Now I am going to recap last year's failures and maybe set some new goals for 2012.
 
2011 Resolution: Meditate more. Result: I actually meditated LESS. They stopped offering classes in Napanee around the end of March. I kept hoping they would come back but when the area got a new resident monk, it threw things around a little with the transition. Now it appears the classes won't be returning any time soon. Which means I just have to get off my butt and go to Kingston or Belleville. And in the meantime, I have to get ON my butt and do it at home! The important thing is that I don't beat myself up about it. That will accomplish even less.
 
2011 Resolution: Play more bass guitar. Result: I know I picked it up at least once. I think that counts as less. This one will be harder to remedy than the meditation I think, but I need to make more of an effort.
 
2011 Resolution: Scream more. Result: Another failure. Of course I mean screaming as in, heavy metal screaming type singing. I don't really have an excuse for this one.
 
2011 Resolution: Swear less. Result: I do believe my use of profanity did in fact decrease. Still have a long way to go though.
 
2011 Resolution: Drink less alcohol. Result: I think I did pretty good here too. I cut way back and lost almost 25 lbs. My intake started to creep back up in December and into this year but I'll take care of it.
 
2011 Resolution: Blog more. Result: This one is kind of a wash. I may have blogged less on this blog, but the posts were more substantial and more meaningful. On my heavy metal blog, it was about the same amount. Maybe more near the end of the year as I did my Album of the Year countdown. But it did have more views and some actual recognition. And that was the goal really.
 
2011 Resolution: Read more/watch less TV. Result: While it was probably the same amount in both cases, the nature of the TV watching changed. We watched more comedies and less dramas. We still watch Hawaii 5-0 and Flashpoint but we haven't watched any CSI shows in ages. We tend not to watch stuff about death and murder anymore. Although, I am a big fan of The Walking Dead. Still need to move that ratio more towards the reading side though.
 
2011 Resolution: Win the lottery. Result: What do you think?
 

 

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What's that strange tingling?

This is gonna sound really weird but I think I can feel other people's brainwaves. I know, I know it sounds crazy. I'll try to explain. The first I can remember it happening was back in Grade 7 or 8. My friend Pete liked to draw. (Still does) Sometimes I would ask him to draw for me. When I watched him draw I would get a strange tingling sensation up my spine and across the top of my head. When he stopped, so did the tingling. I still get that same feeling sometimes when I watch people do certain things. It happens most at work. If I am watching someone troubleshoot or fix my machine, either physically or by working on the computer, I get that feeling. However, I think that the task they are performing needs to require a certain amount of concentration. It doesn't work if they are just running the machine. That doesn't require much thought. But if they are trying to do something that requires some concentration, it tingles. But, I have to be sort of be concentrating too. If I look away, it doesn't work. I have to be paying attention and watching them. But I can't be paying too much attention. If I am actually watching what they are doing and either trying to figure it out or remember it, there is no sensation. But if I am almost casually but intently watching, it works. It's almost like I need to keep my mind slightly out of focus. Too much focus on the details blocks it. I have to "let it in". I haven't tried to experiment with it too much but I don't think it works if I just watch someone think. I think they need to be translating those concentrated thoughts into a physical action. Even if it's just tapping keys on a keyboard or pushing a pencil around some paper. It's a hard thing to test because not everyone likes being stared at when they are trying to do something. What I am trying to figure out is, I think, is there something emitted from the brain of someone translating concentration into a physical action that my body picks up on? Does that make any sense? Is it real? Or is it just some subconscious pleasure in watching people do work for my benefit that my mind has created? And my body has a physical reaction to it? It is quite weird. If it is some sort of phenomenon, how can it be explained physiologically/neurologically? It is an interesting question but I don't know how to find the answer. Maybe I should watch someone try to figure it out!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

On Hunting

This post was inspired by a single line of poetry that I wrote myself yesterday morning as I watched the hunters set out from the hunt camp/cottage next door.
 
"A sea of orange departs in the pale morning light in hopes of returning on a wave of red."
 
I never have, and never will, fully understand hunting as it is practiced in Western Civilization. I understand the concept, the means, the end etc. but I fail to understand the necessity. I'm not an advocate of killing in any sense (I take spiders outside and let them go) but I can't wrap my head around killing innocent animals for no good reason. I'm going to center on ruminants (deer and moose) but it applies to sport hunting of any kind.
In prehistoric times, hunting was necessary to maintain sustenance for our hunter-gatherer ancestors. But that hasn't been the case for centuries. At least in most of the civilized world. I don't expect Inuit to be vegetarians. But in the Western World, where anything thing we want is right at our fingertips, killing for sport just seems barbaric. We don't need the flesh for food, don't need the hides for warmth, don't need the bones to make weapons to defend against predators, don't NEED any part of the animals at all. But every year, thousands and thousands of people take time away from their jobs and family to go out in the woods in hopes of ending the life of an innocent deer. Deer are beautiful and majestic creatures just minding their own business in their own little world and people choose to destroy that. This is where the hunter's mentality really baffles me. They KNOW how beautiful deer are. You'll hear them talking the species up all the time. "Look at that one! Ain't she a beaut!" Yet they still want to kill it. It also appears, seemingly, that the greater the specimen, the greater the urge to kill it. This is man consciously working against natural selection. Survival of the fittest does not apply. Back in the day, the hunters picked off the weak and lame. Not only because they didn't have the means to take out the strongest and swiftest but because it made the herd stronger. A strong herd is able to reproduce better to ensure its survival. Eliminating the best specimens only serves to weaken the species as a whole. However, some hunters will be more than happy just to kill whatever they can. That's just blood lust. That's kind of frightening. A friend of mine bragged to me once about how him and his hunting buddies like to have a few beers, go down by the pond and shoot beavers if the hunt is not going well. Beavers! When I asked him why, he responded, "Well, we have to shoot something!" And this coming from one of the most Catholic people I know. It says right in The Bible, "Thou shalt not kill." It doesn't say specifically not to kill people. So when people go hunting just to kill something, it violates a rule in virtually every religion.
Now people may argue that deer hunting is population control. Last time I checked, deer are not running rampant across the continent destroying everything in sight like a swarm of locusts. I live out in the middle of nowhere and my neighbour is a full kilometer away and I can count the number of times I have seen a deer in the last year on one hand. If an abundance of deer leads to an abundance of their natural predators, nature will take care of that. The predator-prey, food eater-food source balance is in constant ebb and flow. Human intervention disrupts that. Call me ignorant, but I don't see deer being a major contributor to crop losses anyway. If that were the case, those losing crops should be responsible for protecting their own land. Some farmers have to much land to physically "police" or even fence but I still don't see that as being a justifiable reason for deer hunting in general. People of all sorts deer hunt. Not just farmers. All those Great White Hunters from the towns and cities never lost a damn thing because of deer but they are more than willing to kill them. Besides, hunting season is after the harvest! And most hunting takes place in the woods! Not empty corn fields! If crop control was a reason, then hunting season would be in growing season, would it not? So far, the deer have done nothing to harm people directly yet people still line up for the opportunity to kill them.
Speaking of the woods, let us talk about moose. People pay more money to go to more remote locations to kill animals of even more wondrous beauty. Any argument in favour of hunting holds even less true in the case of moose. Any nuisance they may cause on the roads or in gardens is only because we are encroaching on their habitat. So if choose to live in such an environment, a moose on the road or in our backyard is something that should be expected.
The majority of animals that are routinely hunted are gentle herbivores going about their own business posing no threat to humans whatsoever. I've never heard of a flock of ducks carrying off small children or a moose eating a baby. Deer, moose, ducks, geese, quail, pheasants, even bears, coyotes, wolves and cougars are more likely to react with a flight response over a fight response when they feel threatened. The most likely reason an animal would fight would be if it was cornered or defending its young. Are we any different? Even in the case of cougars or bears or wolves, they'd much rather keep away from humans but as humanity further encroaches on their natural habitat, encounters are inevitable. Driven by desperation and hunger, any animal will do what it takes to survive. Ultimately, it is all our fault.
 I guess what I am trying to say is that the only reason that would justify killing another living being would be in self defence or defending a loved one. Hunting down and killing an animal that has never and will never wrong you in any way is just plain wrong. Killing for sport and killing for sustenance are two vastly different things. Sure some of the deer or moose etc gets eaten, but it's just a treat more than anything. No one's diet will suffer without it. I just don't understand how people can destroy the beauty and innocence of nature just for fun. No matter what animal it is.
However, I must give hunters a little bit of credit. While shooting an animal that is either completely unaware of your presence or is running in fear seems pretty cowardly, (I'd be much more impressed if they killed in hand-to-hand combat so to speak) at least they know what they are doing. They are fully aware that their meal is a result of the death of an animal by their hands. Any guilt about that rests firmly on their shoulders. They are conscious of the chain of events that leads from living animal to meat on a plate. Whereas the average omnivorous consumer is able to distance themselves from that chain of events. To them, meat is a commodity. Buying meat bears no more weight on their conscience than a box of crackers or a piece of fruit. They have blinded themselves to death. They may not have killed the animal directly but they are responsible for its death. Their murder weapon is not a gun, but an appetite.
 

On Movember

This is not a personal attack and I mean no offence to my friends that are participating but: FUCK MOVEMBER. I totally understand that men's health needs more attention but this whole moustache thing is just stupid. I do the Relay For Life every year. I walk all fucking night. It is a physical sacrifice. I am in pain. I suffer in place of those I am raising money for. I know cancer charities are inefficient and beaten to death (pardon the pun). But what I am trying to say is, growing a moustache for a month is actually LESS effort than a regular day demands. There's no real sacrifice. No symbolic exchange of suffering. Again, no offence to my friends but it seems that as soon as something easy (rewarding laziness) comes around that makes people feel like that they are to be patted on the back for making a difference, everyone and their dog is all over it. I'd say almost 1 in 3 guys I know has a November Mo where barely anyone is around to support the myriad of other charities the other 11 months of the year.
I will say this; at least Movember requires participation. That's better than the charities that just stand there with their hand out. Or the ones that prey on people's greed and gullability to sell tickets. (Guilty! Come ooooooon Lotto! ) I don't know a better way to promote men's health but there has to be something that requires a little more effort. For instance, my cousin is collecting pledges to determine how many (of an INSANE AMOUNT) of situps she will do in a 24 hour period. Like 100/hour or something.
I'm still going to make a donation to the Movember campaign but it will be because it is important, not because of moustaches.
I got it! Help Prevent Colon Cancer: Go Vegan for a month!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I Rant About Voting


First of all, I'm going to get something off my chest. In this past Thursday's Ontario provincial election, 50.1% of the voters in my riding sucked. If I counted the rest of the voters that didn't vote the same as me that number would be much higher but I am satisfied to shake my head with derision at those that re-elected the clown in the suspenders.
 
Now on to voting in general. More or less. I can't remember the exact number but less than 50% of eligible voters actually voted in Thursday's election. That means every other "voter" was perfectly willing to let the person next to them make the decision for them. This is not a trivial decision either. This is how our province is run! Education, transportation, health care, social services etc. Things that affect the very fabric of our lives every single day.  This is how our taxes are spent! Our hard earned (well most of us) money!  We don't have a choice about paying taxes. (well, most of us) But we do have a choice about choosing the governing body that decides what to do with our taxes. Why would you not want to have a say? How can you be so complacent? A friend of mine said during the federal elections something to the effect of "I'm not going to line up with you sheep." But really, isn't HE the sheep? By not even trying to have his voice heard, and letting others make all the decisions, he becomes the follower. Just going with the flow. Good guy, smart guy. But I believe his logic on this is flawed.
 
There really is no valid excuse not to vote. Complacency is not an excuse. "I didn't have time." BULLSHIT. The polls were open for 12 hours. My wife and I were in an out in less than 5 minutes and we had to stop so people could coo over our baby. Don't give me the time crap. Even if you worked a shift from 9-9, the whole time the polls were open, employers are obligated to give you the time to go vote. It's your right. (I'll get to that in a minute) Besides, there was advance polls leading up to actual election day. No time is not an excuse. "I don't know who to vote for." Well who's fucking fault is that? YOURS! Read the newspaper, watch the TV, attend debates, look on the internet, ask someone who IS informed!!  You'll never know the answer unless you ask the question. There are so many avenues to get the information you need to make an informed decision. Even if it is just asking your husband, wife, neighbour, parents, children, barber, mailman, whoever. Lack of information is no excuse. "My vote won't make a difference." Like FUCK it won't make a difference! If every tit who sat on their ass saying "my vote doesn't matter" got up and voted, do you have any idea how much of a difference that would actually make? A HUGE difference!! Mostly because the people that think that way would vote for a "lesser" party like the NDP or Green Party etc. Maybe if people changed their attitudes about that, things might change. Their might not be two big parties and some also-rans. Look what happened in the federal election. (I'm talking about the NDP becoming the official opposition, not Emperor Harper getting his much coveted majority. He said the election was a dangerous exercise.YUP! I'm expecting him to dissolve the Senate any day now. "Unlimited POWER!!!" I digress) The insignificance of your vote is bullshit and not an excuse.
No time, no clue, no care, no weight. None are valid excuses. If you can think of another reason not to vote, let me know and I will gladly tell you why it's bullshit.
 
I mentioned your RIGHT to vote. Yes, it is your right but it is just as much a privilege. For generations, Canadian soldiers have fought and died to maintain our rights and freedoms. Democracy is part of that. Go tell a veteran that you don't care. See how much they like that. Go tell someone in one of the countries that doesn't have the freedom to vote for their leaders that you don't care who runs your municipality/province/country. I'm sure they'll gladly trade places with you. Eligible voters should feel proud that they have the right to vote. They should feel honoured and privileged to serve their democracy in the manner that regular citizens can. Most of us were born into this right but thousands upon thousands of refugees have fought for the opportunity to vote. In this country or their own. And over 50% of eligible Ontarians just sat on their ass and did nothing. Shameless.
 
I'm going to go extremist for a minute here. Sometimes I think it should be mandatory to vote. I don't know what the punishment would be. I'm just talking. The problem is, the people who don't care to vote now would either just take the fine or whatever or randomly pick a name based on whatever bullshit criteria pops into their head. Which wouldn't work either. I'm just being hypothetical because I'm frustrated and it's 4:30am.
 
So, can you just do me a favour next time there is an election of any sort? Do some research, get informed and exercise your right and VOTE.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

There Is Always Another Way Out

 should be blogging about something good. Like my second daughter starting school. But sometimes the impetus to express oneself in words is brought on by events of tragedy rather than of triumph.

A friend and former band mate took his own life this past week. I haven't seen or talked to him in many years but the news is weighing heavy on my heart nonetheless. I've been lucky enough not to have known very many people that have taken this path to another life. It's not something I care to get used to. One suicide is one suicide too many.

Another friend and former band mate broke the news to me. They were best friends. As is often the case, even those closest didn't see it coming. As I've spoken to him, he told me that the deceased seemed like he was on top of the world. It was "all good" and there was nothing that sent up any flags. Apparently he did have a bit of an issue with painkillers after a motocross accident but not to the extent that it was feared this would happen. Like I said, his BEST FRIEND didn't see this coming.

Which got me thinking about the nature of suicide itself. I have a hard time wrapping my head around how people can go so far as to believe that suicide is the only way out. And I am no stranger to the concept. I've been to the bottom of the pit of despair. I know what it feels like to be surrounded by the slick walls of pain and loneliness. To feel like you have nothing to grab on to and no one will ever be there to pull you out. But deep down in the bottom of my heart, I knew that there were people out there that cared about me. That cared about me a great deal. That LOVED me. And I knew that if I resigned myself to thinking I would never get out, that the only way to escape the pit would be to put myself in the ground below it, that it would cause more pain and loneliness to those that loved me than I would ever feel myself.

That's why I find it so hard to understand when people actually do take their own lives. Because everyone has someone that loves them. Everyone has someone that wants nothing more than to see them happy. Sadly, sometimes people hold their eyes shut so tight, they can't open them up again to see that. They've blinded themselves to the door that is right in front of them. The other way out.

I suppose some people feel that they are a burden to others. That by choosing to remove themselves from this life, they are somehow doing "us" a favour. Their notion of putting others ahead of themselves has been twisted somehow. Somehow they fail to realize that those they are trying to "free" are actually the ones that will hurt the most. It's a harsh reality, but when it comes right down to it, suicide is a selfish act. (Unconsiously selfish) It's putting your pain and suffering, your needs, ahead of all others. When the true way to happiness is by putting the pain, suffering and needs of others ahead of your own. But it happens everyday. And each one is just as sad and tragic as the next.

I can't begin to know what reasons my friend had for ending his own life. Even his best friend was blindsided. 
But that's the way it is, isn't it? Those that are serious about it, keep it inside where it gnaws at their soul. If they were to let on that they were really that far gone, someone would try to help. And if they are that serious, they don't want anyone trying to talk them out of it. On the other side, the people we think would commit suicide based on what we see, are the ones that wouldn't. They are just looking for attention and that's one way to get it. When people try to help, that means they care about you. In the end, his suffering in this life has ended. I can take some small solace from that. But it just means the cycle of birth, suffering, sickness and death begins anew for him. I pray that in some way, his return is able to enrich the lives of those he left behind.  My heart of hearts goes out to his family and friends in this most difficult time.

RIP Dude. You were part of some of the most exciting years of my life and I will never forget that.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Relay for Life 2011

This past weekend I participated in my 3rd Relay for Life. For the most part it is a family event. Because who doesn't have family affected by cancer? Right. And this year was no different. Well, a little different but that part's not important. Our team name was Yes You Can Sir. We were walking in recognition of men's cancers. We had a Knight theme and all our Knight names were plays on words. Mine was (if detected early, cancer is) Sir Mountable. Ya, it could be taken a couple different ways.
The slogan for the Relay is Celebrate.Remember.Fight Back. As always, I find myself more on the Remember end of things. I usually don't dwell on things. The past is the past. But something about this event gets to me. Most the time there, I am walking alone around and around. Faster than most. That's just how I walk. I don't dawdle. As I walk, I do a lot of reflecting. I think about how much I miss the loved ones I've lost. I think about all the people there and how much they miss their loved ones. I think about the pain in their hearts. I think about what the survivors had to go through to still be here. And I think about my own mortality and how those around me would suffer if, karma forbid, something terrible ever happened to me. Sounds kind of morbid but it's not really. The finiteness of this life is something we need to think about. If we can live with the mentality of "I may die today," eventually we can gain a greater appreciation for this precious human life. We can cherish every moment we have. We can strive to make each moment even better, not just for ourselves but for those around us, those we love, those we don't love yet, those we'll love again and all life everywhere in space and time.
That's what I thought about as I circled the track again and again for over 20 kms. Thousands and thousands of steps. Each one a moment, a thought, a reflection in time. Each one a step towards making the universe a better place.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

It's the little things...

I've always been a very eco-conscious person. But I'm also kinda lazy. Drawn to the glamour of convenience. But all that's starting to change. In today's society it's getting harder and harder (and more expensive) to be as eco-friendly as I want to be. So while I can't do the big things on my list, (geo-thermal, >$25000!) I can do the little things to set an example on how to be easier on the earth. Just like in my Buddhist studies, where we are taught not to be preachy but to let "the way" emanate from you, I can't tell other people how to live, but I can be an example.
Over the last couple weeks I've started doing little things throughout my day with an environmental motivation. My plan is to do more and more things with this motivation and maybe someday, with a little karmic help, I can be the enviro-person I want to be.
Here's a few examples of things I (and/or my wife) have been doing:

We're switching over to natural based soaps, shampoos and personal hygeine products to put less chemicals on our bodies and into our water system.
We're using a natural, biodegradeable, bulk laundry soap that comes in a refillable container.
I'm getting much better at turning off lights when I don't absolutely need them on. Even if only for a few seconds.
I've started altering the way I drive to reduce fuel consumption.
I've started drying my hands on my shirt instead of using paper towels or blowers after washing my hands at work and in public restrooms to save paper and/or electricity.
(after some rationing by necessity) I've started using my (Rainforest Alliance Certified) tea bags twice.
Instead of putting my used tea bag on a napkin in the cafeteria because I'm too lazy to walk it to the garbage until I'm going that way anyway, I'm either putting it on a lid or something or getting up and walking it to the garbage.
I stopped drinking pop (and coffee) for this month to reduce my caffeine and sugar intake as an experiment. (I feel great btw) But I may continue as a way to use less packaged consumer products. The first "R" is REDUCE! and as a boycott of mega-corporations that threaten local ecosystems by using up valuable freshwater sources to make their products. (like water) I've been thinking about this one since I watched the documentary Tapped.

This is on top of all the stuff we usually do. Like not letting the water run while we brush our teeth or wash our hands, using cloth diapers, washing our clothes with cold water, not eating meat, etc

And then there is the stuff I plan to do. Such as, grow my own fruits, veggies and herbs, build/buy windmills/solar panels, possibly plant a bamboo stand to act as a carbon sink, replace my CFL bulbs with LEDs, get my ebike fixed, when the time comes, replace my hot water tank with a solar hot water tank, my gas riding mower with an electric one, and hopefully a Nissan Leaf or something like that. I love the idea of geo-thermal but I just can't afford that yet. I'm also going to try and burn more wood this winter to use less oil.

I guess the biggest thing is just to be more aware of the impact our choices make. Ask if there is a more eco-friendly option. Just think. Think, "What would that big hippie Matt do?"

Thursday, May 19, 2011

End of an Era

Our daughter Amelia has been going to an AMAZING pre-school since last October. Sadly, her time there will come to an end in a couple weeks. It has done great things for her. She has come out of her shell, her vocabulary has exploded, she can write her name, etc the list goes on and on. We really wanted her to keep going but it just wasn't making sense anymore. With Becky on Mat Leave and gas over $1.30/L it just wasn't adding up. On top of sending her to pre-school/daycare while someone is home everyday, there's the ~80km of driving for 2 round trips each day she goes. Despite the fact that it looks like an easy choice, it was not. Becky and I fought with ourselves (not each other) over when to take her out. If we still lived in town, no brainer, leave her in. It was 3 blocks away! So really it comes down to the driving. Stupid driving.  If I had a Nissan Leaf I wouldn't care! LOL
No matter when she had to leave, it's sad. She had all her little friends and stuff. She loved it and they loved her.
But to take the positive out of this, we will  now have 3 months to enjoy her all day every day before she goes off to Kindergarten, all day every day. AND, Ruby is already on the list for when she turns 2!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Family Day 2011!


We had a great day on Family Day! Instead of just sitting on our duffs we decided to get out and do something. Luckily, the local Century 21 branch was hosting free swimming at the pool (not in the river) and free skating at the arena (not on the river). Grace and Amelia both LOVE swimming. I just never get to bring them in very often. The free public swim usually a madhouse and this time was no exception. Well, in a way. It was an exceptional madhouse this time. It was crazy packed. And loud! I shoulda brought earplugs! You could barely move in there but Grace managed to find a friend and cover every cubic inch of that pool with her. Amelia however, stuck right to me. She started with a life jacket and we puddled around a bit. Then I gave her a
piggyback swim all the way to the end and back. When we got back she took off the life jacket and hopped right in. She went right under and bobbed back up before I grabbed her to steady her but she wasn't upset by it. She actually laughed a little. Before too long, they blew the whistle and it was time to go. The change rooms were even crazier than the pool. Of course, we split up to handle the girls and I took Meel into the men's with me. She didn't seem to mind and I don't think anyone else even noticed us. Or I didn't notice them noticing.  I was trying to get Meel and myself changed and get out. I wasn't looking around too much.
We met up in the lobby and the girls went in the party room to colour some pictures. They even had a visit from someone dressed up as a giant life jacket. I can't remember its name so I'll just call it Happy Strap.
After lunch (nothing says family like McDonald's!) we headed over to the arena. We were a little late for the start of the public skate but I think the hour they got in was just fine. I don't get to take them skating much either so I was anxious to see how well they would do. I knew they would need those skate helper thingys but they were all being used. So I took them by the hands and we inched ourselves along. We got from one end of the benches to other and someone came over and offered me one. She said I had two kids and I looked like I needed it more. I did. Grace took that one and started off on her own. I still had Amelia so I couldn't really follow. Grace came across a friend of ours and her son. She showed Grace how to use the helper more effectively and she was off to the races! Seriously! She was racing Jacob. Safely of course. I went around holding Amelia's hands for a bit when suddenly a helper was left unattended. I waited to see if someone was coming back for it. When it appeared nobody was, I swooped in like a scavenger and flew away with my prize. Once Amelia had that I was actually able to skate at a speed that actually required skates.
Not fast, mind you but tolerable. Grace and Amelia were both so proud of themselves. And they got better every time around the ice.  At one point Amelia turned the helper around and used it more as back up. Then she just let go and started skating!! Mostly shuffling but she had a few glides. She made it from the red line to the hash marks before she fell down. Amazing for a 3 year old who has skated MAYBE 3 times before. And I pretty much just carried her arond those times. I have the utmost confidence that if I was able to spend the one-on-one time with Grace, she would do the same. Both of them amaze me every day. They are awesome.
Now, I bet you are all wondering, "This is supposed to be Family Day. Where's Becky and the baby?" Well, since Ruby can't swim or skate, or much of anything at all except eat, poop and cry, (and smile!), she couldn't participate. So somebody had to watch her. Not because she is the most qualified or anything. What with the breast feeding and all. No, she had to watch her because well, the breast feeding and all. Hahahaha. We were all in the same place and that's what matters. They had fun watching us have fun.
I practically had to drag the girls off the ice. "But Daddy I love skating!"  I really need to check the schedule and see when public skating is and take them. I think it would be lots of fun.

We went to the banquet hall after the skating for some cotton candy. They were taking the air castles down as we got in there. Much to Amelia's chagrin. But Grace was able to joust against another girl. Up on pedestals on a giant air mattress with big inflatable jousting poles. Grace kicked her butt.
Before heading home we went over to visit Grammie. We had a nice visit. I managed to snag a few more LPs too. Mom gave me some old
pictures of me and my brother and her. She even gave me the wedding album from when she married my dad. It was kinda weird showing the girls. They couldn't really get it. Maybe they were just distracted by Dad's blue tux.
We had some awesome soft tacos/burritos/wraps for supper. I made a giant one out of all the leftover fillings. I posted out about it on Facebook and Twitter. It was that worth it.
I initially wondered about the usefulness of a stat holiday in February (as opposed to say, June) but we took full advantage! What a
great day!!


www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com
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Friday, February 18, 2011

My New Year's Resolutions

I have a handful of resolutions for 2011. None of which are unreasonable.
 
1. Practice. a) I need to get better at my Buddhist practices. I very rarely meditate outside of class. That needs to change. Meditation is like medicine. I can go to the doctor and get the medicine and read the label, but unless I actually take the medicine, it won't do anything. I can go to class and listen to the teachings and read the books. But unless I meditate on what I have learned, I will come to no realizations.
b) I need to actually play my guitars.  How can I ever consider myself a bass player if I never practice? What should I concentrate on? Black metal and/or Doom?
c) I need to start screaming again. Not at people. I'm talking musically. I am very out of practice. I should probably watch the Melissa Cross Zen of Screaming video and practice her methods so I don't kill my vocal chords.
 
2. Swear less. The actual goal here is to not swear at all but I have to start somewhere. I know plenty of people who swear lots more than I do but I still think I am a little too free with my language. There really is no need to use expletives in any situation. I still may use them when reviewing albums or when engaging in 1c but the goal is to take it out of everyday use. I know a guy who just uses different words instead. Frig, or fuddle etc. He may not be dropping F-bombs but the intent is there. The best way to keep that intent from arising in your mind is by engaging in 1a.
 
3. Drink less alcohol. This I am actually doing really well with. I have not been in to the LCBO or the Beer Store yet this year. I had beers that were offered to me while visiting people and I had one at a restaurant the other day. Also, I was given 3 by someone who doesn't have a taste for Belgian Abbey beers and somehow ended up with them in his fridge. I haven't gone out and bought any to have at home though. We'll see how well I am able to stick with this one once summer hits but for now, I'm doing great!
 
4. Blog more. I do need to blog more. Both on this blog and my metal blog. If I want more readers, I need more posts. I will be using this one to chronicle the development of our mini-farm at least. And I hope that I can get my metal blog to a point that it gets noticed by bands and labels and I can get some free stuff! Maybe even sell ad space!
 
5. Read more/Watch less TV.  Television is saturated with crime dramas, mediocrity and (far from) reality shows. Even if I can get Becky to watch more documentaries with me, that would be cool. Do you have any idea how many books I want to read but haven't been able to? Literally hundreds.
 
6. Win the Lottery. I have persevered for years at this game. Maybe I just need to give that little bit extra this year and I'll finally get that big payday.

www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com
www.twitter.com/metalmatthinch