The Hunt Continues....

So Becky went and looked at 4 houses yesterday. All 4 were a no-go.

1. Our agents listing. We knew we wouldn't like it but she went through kind of to please the agent. More or less. She said it was weird, had electric baseboard heat, smaller lot than we want and it was a bungalow.

2. Another of his. Why he took her throught it I don't know. "I just want you to see what a modular home looks like". Why would we want to! Needless to say, it was uselessly tiny.

3. On 6 acres, barn, garage, overlooking the river, very nicely landscaped. Baseboard heat, shitass kitchen, obvious water damage in basement, in need of a new roof.

4. This one had promise. 3 beds + 2 bed apartment with access. Very large, very nice. Very windy location, very hard water, (like damaged the plumbing hard), and foundation damage.

tomorrow we are going to look at the most promising house yet. We said way back that if we could just move our house out of town, we would. This looks like the next best thing. Old Victorian centre-hall plan. Pretty much what we have now but on 2 acres, out of town. With a new roof, windows and wiring. And a granny suite. It needs updating (wallpaper!!) but that's no big thing.

The most important thing is that we sell our house. We can't own two. ASAP would be great. This may sound like hokum but, Becky and I think that there is some sort of force/spirit/entity/energy in the house that doesn't like us. Amelia has seen a "bad man" in her room. Becky has seen strange shadows. There has been times when I was in the shower and I swore I could hear voices and knew there was nobody home. I feel that whatever it is, it drains our energy. At our old house, I used to run everyday, ride my bike to work, walk into town, play outside with Grace, stay up late(r) and be wide awake in the morning. When we moved, I stopped running, I rode my bike to work less and less frequently (not at ALL last year), I have no energy to play with the girls, I'm tired all day, I can sleep 10 hours and still be wiped. I've been to the doctor and the sleep clinic and there is nothing physically to explain it. Becky is constantly tired no matter how much sleep she gets. Her B12 shots work for shorter and shorter durations. Grace looks like a zombie half the time. Amelia has never slept well. And now that she can talk, she still can't explain. It's always "something". Grace is never content to stay at home. We always have to go somewhere. Amelia never wants to come home when we are out. Something just doesn't add up here. Home should be the place you want to be. A place to rest, relax, recharge. Not so. We never feel rested. We never feel recharged. Something is not right. We need to get out.

What's up, Pussycat?

Well, we still haven't sold our house. We were pretty optimistic to start, then we got pessimistic. Fast. With an increasing number of showings, we are getting some of that optimism back. But, with no offers being tabled, I worry. Why isn't it selling? Is there something very wrong with it? Is there something about the house that is turning people away that I am unable/unwilling to remedy? Is it unsellable?  These are the things I worry about. They don't keep me up at night though. Nothing keeps me up at night.

We had a "pro" come and stage our house. It looks great. I cleaned up the dog kennel. It looks (and smells) much better. We started putting out ourdoor furniture. Yesterday we started attacking the gardens and taking out all the leaves. The plants are starting to come up so we want to be able to see them! The gardens will be worked on some more this weekend. But already the outside is looking better. Some people have said "I bet you are falling in love with the house all over again, eh?" No. LMAO. We've never not liked the house. It's more (lack of) yard and the location. It's in a good location if you want to be in town, but we don't. We want to be in the country.

We have another showing tomorrow. We had one a couple days ago. Let's hope someone likes it enough to buy it soon. This whole things is stressin' me out and I'd prefer if it was done with. And by done with, I mean us in our new house.

Universal Laws

 

UNIVERSAL LAWS  

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

6.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down
on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.    

On My Now Unadorned Tongue

Earlier this week, I decided to take out my tongue ring. It was a very hard decision. Ultimately, it came down to the fact that it was causing me pain. I had been thinking about taking it out for a couple weeks. On one hand, I had no real reason to take it out. On the other hand, after 11+ years, the novelty was wearing off. When I first got it, it was part of a whole ensemble. And now it was the only thing left of the image of that 20 year old guy. (baggy pants, big earrings, backwards hat etc) That's precisely what made the decision so hard. I got it done only a few months after Becky and I got together, so it was almost like a symbol of "us". (The tattoo on my finger and our wedding rings are the real symbols) I had basically gone my whole adult life with it. It had become so much a part of me that I hardly ever noticed it.

But I noticed when it hurt.

I've been sick a couple times this year. When I saw the doctor the first time I mentioned that the back of my tongue hurt. He said it was because of my tongue stud. I said, no, it doesn't hurt there, it hurts at the back. He said yes, but if a bit of food or something causes a small infection at the piercing, the lymph system drains at the back and could cause a secondary infection. Hence, the back hurts.

With my most recent sickness, it wasn't the back that hurt. The top and through the middle of the piercing hurt. Enough so that I felt I should take it out. I thought I'd clean it, give the tongue a rest and go from there. I cleaned it up. (lots of crusty stuff on the bottom ball. Not a good sign) I put it back in a day or so later. When I was pushing it back through a bunch of white gross stuff came out the hole. Not a good sign either. But I left in for most of the day. When I had it back in it felt awkward. I was amazed at how quickly I had adjusted. Alas, near the end of the day it was hurting again. I figured the pain was for a reason so I took it out again.Possibly for the last time. I doubt I'll put it back in but it's hard to let go of something that you've had for so long.

I've gotten used to not having it in pretty quick. And I feel okay with my decision. I can do a razzberry again! Although, I have noticed that I fiddled with it ALOT. No worries. My dentist is happier this way. Other happy people may include my parents and conservative friends and relatives. But I didn't take it out for them. If that was the case, I would have done it 11 years ago. No, it was just time.

Mind you, if I was a girl, I would have toughed it out and left it in. It's way cooler/sexier on a girl. Always has been, always will be.

Snowboard Cross, The Secret Doctrine and if I have time, something else.

As much as I enjoy rooting for Canada I haven't watched much of the Olympics. Mainly because I'm the only one in the house that wants to watch it. I'm not the kind of guy that goes to another room to watch, or makes everyone else go to a different room. I'm just not. But I did catch the final of the Women's Snowboard Cross. Wherein Maelle Ricker of Canada won Gold. What impressed me most wasn't the race itself. (But, damn they fast) It was the sportsmanship. All 3 medallists were thrilled. I saw no disappointment at all. The were congratulating each other and all that. Then, when they had the flower ceremony, the silver and bronze medallists were practically pulling Ricker up on to the podium. And Ricker, being Canadian, modest and polite and was waiting til her name was announced. I just thought the whole thing exemplified the spirit of sportsmanship and fair play that the Games are all about.

 

For the last little while I've been picking away at The Secret Doctrine by H.P. Blavatsky.  I think I'm going to take a break from it. It's WAY over my head. There are so many terms and concepts that are going in one eye and out the other. I'm not doing myself any good by continuing to read it without understanding. I didn't pay anything for the book so if I never feel I am up to tackling it, I'm not out anything. Maybe if I read Isis Unveiled first, I might get it more.

Do I have time? Yeah I have time. Who was I asking? Myself. And I answered myself. That's bad,  right? Yup. AH! I did it again! OK.  There is a machine at work that has an alarm that sounds like the Ku Ka Ra Cha (or however it's spelled) (cucaracha?) and it's annoying. That is all.

Come on!

Did you see those clowns protesting the Olympics in Vancouver? What a bunch of idiots! Smashing some innocent merchant's window, throwing newpaper boxes into the streets. Attacking a guy voicing his opinion and then kicking him while he's down! Violently resisting arrest. How do they think any of this is going to benefit their cause? Instead of wasting taxpayer dollars on the Olympics, they'll waste it on the Olympics AND cleaning up the mess, paying the extra police, and prosecuting the offenders! The best part is that most of them were wearing masks! Show your face you chickenshit cowards!! Sorry about the language.

Summer vs. Winter Olympics

Yay! The Winter Olympics are underway! Nothing but figure skating in prime time for 2 weeks!!  Anyway, I got thinking (I know, dangerous) and it occured to me that the Summer Games are for normal people and Winter Games are for lunatics.

Here's what I mean. Most of the Summer Games events are events that normal, everyday people could participate in. Not at an elite level, but in some capacity. We all did Track & Field in public school. Everybody (able-bodied) can run, jump, throw, cycle, swim, play tennis, basketball, badminton, or volleyball, etc. All without huge risk of serious injury. There are exceptions, don't get me wrong. Like Pole Vault, lots of the gymnastics stuff and diving for example. But even so, the risk of serious (I mean like KILL YOU) injury is appreciably low compared to the Winter Games.

The majority of the Winter Games events carry a huge risk. Like luge/skeleton/bobsled. Hurtling yourself down a giant ice slide at well over 100kph is not something you do in Phys. Ed. or at the local YMCA. Ski-jumping! Are you nuts!! That's like skydiving without a parachute! Downhill skiing is dangerous too. They are going FAST! Some of those wipeouts are pretty horrific. Even aerials and snowboarding carry a decent risk. In the Winter Games you have to look for exceptions for events that don't entail the possibility of breaking your neck. Like Cross-country skiing/biathalon. Even speedskating requires a helmet.  Don't think figure skating is immune either. A bad landing could thwap your head pretty hard on that ice.

So basically, like I said, any normal person with enough training and good genes could do Summer Games. Even high(er) risk ones. But Winter Olympians (at least ski jumping and luge etc) have to be stone cold crazy to even try it!

Also, may the Georgian luger who died during training this week rest in peace or be granted a pleasant rebirth. (Depending on your beliefs)

We're on the move!

Becky and I (and the kids) are hopefully moving sometime in the very near future. We have found a new home which we have put an offer in on, and will be listing our house this week. If all goes well, we could be moving in April. (I'm on vacation the first 10 days of April so that might work out well)  Some people are wondering why we would want to move anyway.

Basically,

When we moved into our current house we thought it was perfect. We thought it was all we'd ever need. Big rooms, lots of them. A workshop of sorts, etc. Close to schools, and downtown. We knew it didn't have a big yard but at the time, we only had 1 child. And since we were so close to TPCS, we'd just take her to the park there. Everything sounds good right? And it was, for a while.

But things change.

We had Amelia. But we had four bedrooms so that's not a problem. But it's not as easy to take 2 kids to the park. By yourself. Or with both of us really. This is when we started to realize that the yard just wasn't big enough. But we dealt with it. And we started to make some changes to try and make it more appealing. I put up a fence. I put on a new deck. But it still wasn't working. Meanwhile, inside, we were constantly switching rooms, painting rooms and rearranging rooms. I think this may have been a subconscious manifestation of a need for change. Or a sense of dissatisfaction. I think we had a revelation sometime in late November/early December. It's time to move on. We aren't happy here anymore.

There are some other reasons too. It's loud. There is always people rippin' up and down the street driving cars that need serious exhaust work. A thousand buses drive by every day. The garbage/recycling truck wakes us up every time. And the dogs! Our dogs aren't quiet but there are enough dogs in the neighbourhood that make such a racket we think our dogs are outside barking when they are inside sleeping!

Also, being on a corner lot offers ZERO privacy.

So more or less, we're unhappy with the location of our house. Even moving to a bigger lot in town doesn't seem like the solution we're looking for. From the moment we started looking, we didn't even consider anything in town. Getting out of town is what we want in our hearts. We want a big yard, with privacy and quiet.

We've found a beautiful (if unconventional) house which fits our requirements with a few added bonuses. We know it might slip through our fingers, and we are okay with that. There's other houses out there and we aren't in a desperation situation. That being said, as great as the house we've found is, we have no delusions that we'll be there forever. Nothing is forever. Needs change. Desires change. And you have to change along with them. If nothing ever changed, the world would be a VERY boring place.

My First Blackhawks Game

The Time: 7:30pm Tuesday, January 19, 2010. The Place: Scotiabank Place, Ottawa, ON. The Event: Ottawa Senators vs. (The next Stanley Cup Champion) Chicago Blackhawks.

I'd been looking forward to this game my entire life. The first Blackhawks game I've ever seen live in person. I'd been feeling ill for a week prior and I would be damned if any sickness prevented me from going to the game. And of course, the worst I'd felt was that day. The lingering sore throat was still bothering me and now it was accompanied by a headache, fatigue and nausea. I didn't care. I was going no matter what. No way was I going to miss it. By the time we got there I was feeling fine. Still had a sore throat but other than that, all was good. We had a couple (or a few, depending on who you were) beers and headed inside.

Both on the bus and inside the arena there was an abundance of Blackhawks fans. Love it. With the team only coming to Ottawa every couple years, it's really no surprise. Said Blackhawk fans were plenty vocal as well. Possibly most vocal would be my Uncle Karl. He was part of the "few group" outside the bus. I'm not much of a chanter but he more than made up for me. We managed to squeeze my (life long Leaf fan) Dad into a Blackhawks jersey for the game. The Kimmerly's have the photographic evidence.

I was really excited to see the players in person (from a distance). Eventhough I am older than the vast majority of the team, I felt like a kid. It was a great feeling. Another great feeling was watching Marian Hossa score a shorthanded goal on a breakaway. It may have been the single most exciting moment of my life. (Marriage, kids births etc excepted) Chicago ended up losing the game 4-1 due to some lackluster play on Chicago's part, some questionable officiating, and a very lucky Senators goaltender.

Despite the loss, I had a great time. I look forward to next time. Although, it'll likely be Montreal or Toronto. Either way, I'm doing what I have to to get tickets. I'm addicted now.

Boredy Bored Bored

Gah! I am so bored!! I emailed myself 3 books to read today. All 3 are duds.

1. Crowley's Book of Lies. It's all weird. Structured like poems and stuff. I can't make heads or tails of it. It makes no sense. It's all references and symbolism. There's notes and commentary after each "chapter" but that doesn't help. If anything, it makes me more confused!

2. Some Big Long Word That Starts With An "R" by Nostradamus. It's not in English. And I can't read whatever language it's in.

3. Death in Dunwich - A Call of Cthulu Adventure. I had no idea what this was about. It was in a big folder I downloaded with hundreds of occult and conspiracy books. Turns out, it's some kind of murder mystery game. Apparently there is a die to roll and depending on what comes up it determines what information you are given. In any case, it made about as much sense as the other two books.

I tried to email myself The Secret Doctrine by Madame Helena P. Blavatsky but it was too big for Gmail. Then I tried Isis Unveiled by Blavatsky but it was too big for the email at work. Rats. I really want to read those. Guess I'll have to another way.

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder how alot of the things we eat and drink came to be. Fruits and vegetables are pretty self explanitory. As are nuts. But what about bread? It's a fairly involved process. It can't have been done by accident. I mean, who's idea was it to even grind up wheat to make flour?

I guess an even more inexplicable item would be beer. Let's make a drink out of barley and hops! Again, I fail to see how this could be an accident. Someone had to come up with this stuff. Cake, pasta, rum, the list goes on.

There's all kinds of geniuses out there. Some are astronauts, some are particle physicists, and some are cooks.

Can you tell I'm bored today?

My annual sickness has arrived

Every year I get strep throat. It usually comes in Jan or Feb. Well, it's Jan this year. Last night my throat was feeling a little sore but I thought it was just dry. As the night progressed I figured it wasn't as simple as that. I stopped on the way home and got some Strepsils. When I woke up I knew what was going on. I know that kind of pain anywhere. So I've been poppin' sore throat drops like they are going out of style and it still hurts. To make matters worse, the headache is here now, I'm sweaty and my energy level is dropping fast. I hope I can make it thru the last 5 hours of the shift. When I get home I have anti-biotics to start poppin'. I'm gonna sleep all day and then go to bed early. I really want to take the girls sledding Thursday but now I don't know. Let's hope I get over it faster than Becky did.

 

Also tonight, I've had a craving for cashews and for pepper. Weird.

It did sting a little.

I come back from holidays and I ask my trainee, "Are you back with me now?" She says "If it's okay with you, I'd rather stay with "Joe"." (names have been changed to protect the innocent) OK. "I just learned so much more from him," she says. The conversation lasted another 20 seconds or so. I respected her wishes and told her where "Joe" was.

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. One one hand, it's kind of a slap in the face. And on the other hand, I'm almost glad to be rid of her. She said that Joe explained things to her and let her do it, whereas I would show her how to do it the first time (while explaining) and then got her to do it. Actually doing it myself helps me explain it better. She learns better by doing it herself. Her learning style and my teaching style didn't match. Sometimes when I was explaining things to her I felt she was ignoring me. And other times, I'd tell her how to correct something and ten minutes later she'd totally ignore the problem and not implement the solution. I think I'd be better off training a new hire instead of a transfer. Sometimes I got the feeling she thought I was "just a kid".

Yeah, Joe's been here longer than me and has been doing this job longer than me and has been training longer than me and probably knows more than me but for her to be so blunt about it....Like I said, it was a blow to my ego, but if she ends up sucking at her job, at least you can't pin it on me. Besides, watching someone work, waiting for a training opp is pretty damn boring.

Whatever.

Christmas is almost over.

And it was a good one. Just have to go see the Grammas and the Lewis's. And Gene's coming over. Here's the rundown.

Christmas Eve: At Becky's sisters. Tyler had to work til 7 so the girls just played with Robyn. Rob made me a pretty potent rum & eggnog. But really, the rum just rose to the top. didn't get stirred up. The eggnog was really yellow. Like fluorescent. We had a nice turkey dinner and exchanged gifts. I got a pretty nice tea pot for loose leaf tea. And some flowering tea. I know, I'm a grannie. Had 2 rounds in the hot tub! Hot tub at Christmas. Oh yeah.

Christmas Day: We kinda got up before the kids. The girls opened their gifts first. Both very excited. When all that landfill paper was unwrapped, Becky and I attempted to open our gifts. We were constantly interrupted by requests to "open this". And of course, kid's toys need an instruction manual just to get into the box! We made it through before Dad, Zena, Dana, Barry, Dakota and "Uncle B" (Brian) came for breakfast. Poor Dakota had a wicked cold. More gifts were exchanged and we padded our bellies some more. It was a pretty nice morning.

(Next year, Becky and I are going to set alarm and get up even earlier ahead of the kids and open all ours before the get up.)

Boxing Day: We were slated to go my parents for supper. And we did. But not without some adventure first. We were going to kill some time and go look at a couple houses we saw online. One happened to be down a dirt road. There was 2 entrances to this road off the main road and they came together in a Y. We took the first one and came upon 2 cars being pulled out of the ditch. We tried to turn around and the front wheels got stuck on some ice. The 2 guys waiting for the vehicles helped us get going. So we went to the other entrance. When we came to the Y, the car didn't turn. We went right into the ditch. Luckily it was mostly snow bank but there was no way we were getting out under our own power. So I ran up the road to grab the tow truck before he left. We got pulled out after about an hour of standing around in the rain for about an hour. Needless to say, it did not leave a good impression of that road. We decided just to not look at the house and head home. Even though the road was "the worst I seen it in 30 years", I didn't want to see it again. We made it to Dad's more or less on time. Played some Wii, watched Canada HAMMER Latvia, exchanged more gifts, (we got a CAA membership. We needed it) and had another turkey dinner. More belly padding.

27th: We had the McCaugherty clan over to our house! Our first time hosting a holiday get together. It went great. Not everyone could make it but they were here in spirit. If we had a teleporter we could have had them here. haha. It wasn't a meal but there was more than enough snacks. MORE than enough. My belly should get more padded over the next couple days as I finish everything off. Then to get back on the EA Active Wii workouts and the elliptical. Or rather, start those things.

All in all, it was a great holiday season. Can't wait to do it all again next year!

Merry Christmas!

and Happy Holidays.

I had a messed up dream the other night. as always. This time I remembered. I was a replacement Chicago Blackhawk. If someone got injured, I would play in their place. So they didn't have to call anyone up from the minors.  I remember I was Patrick Kane, and Niklas Hjalmarsson. Wouldn't that be great!?

Get Thrashed!

I just finished watching Get Thrashed. It's a documentary about the history of Thrash Metal. It was pretty good. I'm kinda late to the thrash scene so it had a lot of info I didn't know. Thrash started in like '82-'83 when I was 4-5 years old so you can understand that I wasn't a metalhead back then. All I heard was Sharon, Lois and Bram or the country crap my Mom listened too. I got some CCR and stuff like that from my Dad, but it wasn't metal. I didn't get into metal til "One" by Metallica and even then, I wasn't INto it. I hadn't denounced everything else yet. (Sepultura did that for me) Of course, I got into the Big 4, had no idea about Exodus, Testament, Kreator, Death Angel, etc etc. I have heard of them before this but didn't really know the history or how they fit into it.

If you are into metal at all, I highly recommended this doc. Great music, great insight. It's different than Heavy Metal in Baghdad because it's not just about one band. It's not quite as good as Metal: A Headbanger's Journey, but better than that one Penelope Spheeris did. The Decline of Western Civilization 2: The Metal Years. I might even say it's better than Global Metal. The sequel to Headbanger's Journey.

I really dig documentaries on stuff I like. And I love metal.

the Countdown is on.

I will officially be on holidays in just over 7.5 hours. 18 days off. With one exception. I have a double-time shift Dec 29. It's only one shift. and it's double time. So it's worth it. I'll have 3 days "to myself" this week. kinda 4. but I'll be sleeping most of one. I'll try to get all my Christmas shopping done Wednesday so Thursday and Friday I can relax. And by relax, I mean clean the house. I can't wait. Woo! (dripping with sarcasm) At least I can crank some tunes to keep me movin.

Also, the Olympic Torch is coming through Napanee in the morning. It's passing a block from our house. I'm gonna take the girls to see it. They don't know the significance of it, but it's something I can explain to them when they are older. It's a once in a lifetime experience. I still remember when Rick Hansen wheeled through and we went out see him and make a donation.

Excellent Documentary

I watched The Union: The Business Behind Getting High last night. An excellent doc about the business of marijuana. It really showcases how stupid the war against marijuana is. Billions of dollars have been wasted try to enforce marijuana prohibition. It hasn't stopped anything. What it does, is make criminals out of innocent people, and fills prisons that run on our tax dollars. If pot was legalized and regulated similar to alcohol, instead of wasting tax dollars, it would generate tax dollars. The LCBO generates hundreds of millions of dollars for the province every year. Marijuana could do that too and ease the tax burden on the rest of us. Lower income taxes, scrap the HST crap, etc.

Marijuana is still a drug. Alcohol is a more dangerous drug. Nicotine is even more dangerous. Yet, MJ is the only one that is illegal. MJ has numerous health benefits. Look at how many people a year die from tobacco. Or drunk driving. Or prescription meds. Or caffeine overdose! ZERO people have died from marijuana. Not one death can be attributed to marijuana alone.

I am not condoning drug use. I wouldn't condone cigarettes or booze either. But really, if you are going to have a vice, marijuana is probably the "healthiest" choice. Don't get high and drive. That's just stupid. Or go to work high. etc.

I could go on and on about this, but really it would be best if you just watched the movie yourself. Think about it. It won't necessarily make you go out and start smoking pot but it should make you think. And open your mind a little. If alcohol was illegal (like it used to be), would you break the law?

Not only am I bored, I'm feeling "ranty"

Here goes.

Ever since they changed the hiring process at work, the new hires are becoming increasingly "questionable". To put it nicely. Nate and Adam's group wasn't bad but after that....

They're getting cocky. You're productivity is higher than mine? So what. I still make more money than you.

Lazy, lazy, lazy! Oh dear gawd, lazy! Taking shortcuts, not following procedure, more concern for numbers than actually doing it right. And who has to clean up the mess? Me. And the other people that should let them learn from their mistakes the hard way. Trouble is, most of the time they wouldn't be the ones getting burned by it. So we'd have to fix it anyway. Don't get me wrong, when I was new I made some mistakes too but it wasn't because I was being lazy. If anything, it was because I was trying to do (the right thing) too much.

The guy I am working with tonight is especially aggravating. I don't want to go into specifics because I don't want to get in trouble.

It seriously makes me wonder how these people made it through the process when I know at least a half dozen people that would be ten times better than some of these guys who haven't made it through.

Maybe idiocy is just drawn to me.

Because I'm bored and not in the mood for Theosophy

I wrote this in my notebook and now I will copy it to here.

Am I just a figment of my own imagination? Is any of this real? Not in a Matrix sense because that would mean I have a physical body. I mean more like a dream. Like my life is the recurring dream of some other entity. It is said that dreams don't last as long as they feel. What may seem like days is mere seconds. I believe that the human brain is capable of so much more. So it seems reasonable to me that the entirety of what I feel is my existence, is a small imagining of some entity's mind when it is not in what might be a conscious state. Of course, if I'm just a character in a dream, what I think isn't real anyway. Or is it?

But, what kind of mind would dream up a place like this anyway?

sigh

I miss my wife. we've both been working so much we hardly see eachother.
I had a coffee this morning and I've felt like shit all day. I swear I'm allergic.
On sleeping pills now.
nothing on TV.
i think i'll fall asleep on the couch now.

I feel better now

I took a littel time last night/this morning and found a quiet place. I set an alarm in case I fell asleep and I meditated. I did a relaxation meditation. I felt much better when I came out of it. I missed meditation class the last 2 weeks and I haven't been very good about practicing. I think I just needed to relax, chill out, center myself. I guess it worked. I feel much better today even though I didn't sleep well at all. I should get lots of sleep tomorrow so that will help too. And after tonight, only 10 shifts til holidays!!! That's a reason to smile!

Not in the right headspace

I've been reading The Key to Theosophy by H.P. Blavatsky.  It's really interesting stuff. It's formed as a question and answer explaining what Theosophy is basically. What their beliefs are and what not. Lots of stuff about Karma and re-incarnation. It holds many parallels with Buddhism. But it's not simple stuff. First of all, it was written in 1889 so the language is a little different. Plus, the concepts are quite complicated. So I really have to have my "head in the game" to comprehend it. My head is not in the game tonight. Problem is, the only other thing I have to read is writings by Aristotle! Even older writings and just as (if not more) complicated! So I am wasting the time away blogging about it.

I was going to start reading The Book of Negroes by Lawrence Hall on my next break but I don't think I am in the mood for that tonight either. I may just whip out my notebook and write down whatever comes to mind. Make notes about whatever music I am listening to. What I should do is meditate. I need it.

Why do I do this?

The last time I worked 7 shifts in a row I swore I wouldn't do it again. But where do I find myself this week? Ya, working every day. I worked Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights. And Thurs-Sunday Days. You will notice that Wednesday is not listed. However, most of the Tuesday night shift happened on Wednesday. So it counts. Plus, I worked every possible shift I could.I could not have worked Wednesday day or night because it would make for a 24 stretch and you can't do that. What I am getting at is, I am tired. I have 2-plus shifts left and my legs are sore. Ugh.

Of the 2 shift trades I am doing this week to get myself into this mess, one is in the bank. So you can bet your bottom dollar, I am doing as little as possible that day. It's gonna be sweet.

Update on weird dream

I checked the notepad beside my bed to see what I had written after that weird dream. And it made no sense to me at all. The only thing that I could remember any detail about at all was the part I already wrote about. But, I will now relay to you what I DID write down. In order.

dental extraction
Al in pink shorts
Arise & Ruin landmine
Ryan hanging under park
Adrian playing bass in the street.

At least I have a reason for the scene of death. A landmine. The rest of it is still a mystery.

Why can't I just have normal dreams?

I had a pretty messed up dream this afternoon. I can't remember most of it (I jotted down the main points, just haven't got back to it) but at the end, I end up in a park. In this park, I come across a scene of death. The bodies of 4 out of 5 members of Arise & Ruin are laying in front of me. I scream " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" (Usually, I would wake up groaning at this point) Then I hear this high-pitched wail.scream. It sounded like Travis from Cattle Decapitation. When I find the source, it's Ryan, the lone surviving member of Arise & Ruin clinging to the bottom of the park. Apparently now the park is floating in the air. The scene was similar to Luke hanging from the antenna underneath Cloud City. I woke up at this point. Nature called, I wrote down some key points and got back in bed. I tried to get back into the same dream but it didn't happen. I'm interested to look at my notes later and try and remember the rest of it.

Swearing

I am really trying to cut down on my swearing. I'm too casual with it. Plus, foul language is generally used in a negative manner. I don't need negativity. I need positive! So, I don't have a problem using the "F word" in a positive way. ie. That album is fuckin' awesome!

But really, just about any harmless word can be used in a negative way. Like frog. There is nothing wrong with the word frog. If I called someone a frog because they could jump far, that would be okay. If I called someone a frog because they were French, well, that would be negative. It's all in what you mean by it. How it's delivered.

It's just a matter of catching myself. If I stub my toe, instead of saying FUCK, I'll just say OUCH. Or my personal favourite, "FU-cryin' out loud!"

I've just gotten into such a habit of using bad words in my everyday speech. Not around kids, or most of my family. Especially at work. Plant mouth. It's just not necessary.

I've learned that the way you talk to people has a direct relation to how they respond to you. If you talk in a negative manner and/or use foul language, people in general, will be less receptive to what you are saying. If you can speak in an even tone, and use appropriate language, people will be much more likely to respond in a positive (or at least not negative) way.

So, yeah. I have been and will continue to make a concerted effort to revise my general manner of speech and tone to bring more positive into my world and the world around me.

So nevermind the title of my previous entry about speed-challenged elderly drivers. LOL

Funny Story

Yesterday, I laid Amelia down for a nap. She never naps for me. No matter what I try, it just doesn't happen. Anyway, when I laid her down she didn't put up much of a fuss. I thought I might be lucky. She was quiet for about a half hour. Whether she was sleeping or not is up for debate, but I am betting on "no". I heard her running around in her room so I went up to get her. She had taken off her pants and put a Pull-up over her diaper. No biggie. I brought her downstairs.

About an hour later Becky came home from work. The girls rush to the door to greet her. I hear her say something to the effect of "What's going on with your Pull-up?" I mumbled "yeah, I know" from the other room. When I get into the kitchen Becky is stripping Amelia's pull-up off. Well, I should say Pull-upS. As in 6 of them. What I thought was a pull-up over a diaper was in fact 6 pull-ups. How she got them all on is beyond me. I guess she was gearin' up for a pretty serious pee!!

Move it, Gramma!!

Coming home from Kingston the other day, I got stuck behind this old lady driving agonizingly slow and it got me thinking. In general, the relationship between age and speed is inversely proportional. The older you get, the slower you drive. Shouldn't the relationship be directly proportional? The older you get, the faster you drive? For this reason, with "less time on the clock" why would you want to waste time travelling? Wouldn't want to get to your destination faster? So you could fit more in to what precious little time you have left? I know I won't be like that. I'll be 80 years old still listening to Slayer driving 100kph on Hwy 2. That is, if I'm still alive at 80. (2012 anyone?) Plus, 50 years from now, cars will drive themselves at bullet-train speeds while the passengers are experiencing whatever they please using Matrix-like virtual reality. All with inertial dampers so we don't feel acceleration, deceleration or cornering. Unless you wanted to. There would be a VR simulation for that. Everyone needs a dream, right!

Writing the above also got me thinking about gas mileage. In the US system, mileage is measured in mpg (miles per gallon) while in Canada it's L/100km ( litres per hundred kilometers). Wouldn't it be easier to use km/L? I mean, really, that's a really odd what to express a rate. For example, you would say " I can make 50 cookies per hour" not " It takes me 2 hours to make 100 cookies." I guess that's another reason we are called Crazy Canucks!

Sleep lab results.

I got the results from my second sleepover at the clinic. I had NO abnormal breathing incidents.NO abnormal limb movements. I woke up about a dozen times (only remember 1) and my sleep was disturbed 20 or so times. Both of those figures are no cause for concern. I did, however, snore 1710 times in 6 hours and 11 mins. Which works out to roughly 1 every 15 seconds. Their parameters for what qualifies as a snore must be different than mine. If I really snored that much, Becky would have kicked me out of bed long ago! He said that is actually below normal. My heart-rate was fine and my oxygen saturation was good too.

So basically, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my sleep.

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, great, I don't have a sleep disorder. On the other hand, why the hell am I still so tired!? I go see my family doctor in about 3 weeks. He might put me on a pill he prescribes to shift workers to help them get more restful sleep. I'll stay on the "happy pills" at least until I know that the sleeping pills work. I'd like to be on no prescriptions at all but I have to do what I have to do.

Wish me luck!

So I'm 31 now.

I don't usually talk about my feelings and stuff. At least not in person. I am a little more forthcoming in type. I really hope that my 32nd year of existence goes better than my 31st. A lot of stuff happened while I was 30. Not all of it good. I became a person I didn't want to be. And I am just recently becoming more of a person I can live with. I still have a long way to go. I've made great strides in ridding myself of habits and attitudes that were dragging me down. Up til about February, whiskey had me in its grip and I thought nothing was wrong with me. I thought I was just tired. Looking back, I was in denial. Yes, I was tired (still am) but that was no excuse for being a jerk all the time. I had to wake up and realize that it's okay to get help. I don't have to be the big tough guy and do it all on my own. It's been a year of struggle. A year of looking into myself.  A year of doctor's appoointments and trial and error. A year of distance and pain. A year of pessimism and disappointment. But that year is over and a new one begins.

My 32nd year will be a year of optimism. A year of peace. A year of self-discovery. A year of patience. A year of progress. A year of answers (well, hopefully I get at least one answer next week.Why is my sleep not restful?) A year of creativity. A year of confidence. A year of happiness and joy. This year is the first year of the rest of my life. I intend to make it a good one.

The Following May Be Gross To Most People

You know those bacteria that feed on methane at the deep sea vents? Well, those puppies would be having a smorgasbord in my pants the last couple days. Whoooeeee!! I don't know what I ate but it's pungent. Maybe the Raisin Bran, All-Bran bars and Activia have something to with it? In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if Becky makes me sleep on the couch.

Happy early Birthday to me!

My wife Rebecca is notoriously bad for not being able to wait til the actual occasion to give gifts. Birthdays, Christmas, whatever. This year she was so excited she gave me a gift almost a full week early. She said it was just a small one. In a way, she was right. It's a netbook! A mini-laptop! It's pretty bodacious. I think it's great. It was cheaper than an ebook reader and it does more than just display text. Duh. I'm mainly going to use it to watch movies Becky isn't interested in on my breaks at work and read the multitude of ebooks I have downloaded. Of course, I'll go on the internet too. It's got more storage than my desktop (80 vs 140GB) and because I am only using it for a few things, it's not going to get all clogged up with programs I don't use.

I need to put some Virus protection on it. I think I'll use Avast. It's free and I hear it's good. I also need to figure out why the wireless connectivity is giving me problems. I know it's something minor and I am just missing it. I should check the setting on the old laptop PC and match them up. I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I have to finish watching Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.

Three word Land of the Lost review.

Dumb da-dumb dumb.

Public Washrooms

I hate public washrooms. For a number of reasons.

a) Urinals. Most bathrooms don't have any sort of partition between urinals. Urination is a private thing for me. I don't want somebody advertently or inadvertently looking at my piece. I don't even want to mention splashback. Oops. I did.

b) Hygiene. Knowing that strangers have been in and out of that bathroom all day with their hands around their nether regions and then touching all the things I need to touch, is very unappealing.

c) Lack of sound proofing. I don't get disgusted by much. What I do get disgusted by is hearing other people poop.

d) The TP. To Whom It May Concern: You do realize that when it is 1-ply, people just use twice as much, don't you? So, do the right thing and put 2-ply in there.

I need a dream journal.

I had two messed up dreams last night. I am sure I had more messed up dreams (they all are) but I only remember two.
First one, there was a ghost of a small child, fully clothed in the bathtub. In the dream it scared the shit out of me and I actually hollered out. Woke Becky and myself up. Happens all the time.

I should have written this one down earlier. Now I can't remember the details. But my friend Eugene and I were being held captive in the basement of an old warehouse. I can't remember much more. I think we ended up killing our captors with their own weapons. Escaping and walking along Water St. in Napanee. There was a seriously messed up part but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.
Even if I kept a handheld recorder by the bed. I could relay the gist into that and write it down properly after. I always have the weirdest dreams. Most of the time I am being chased.

Did I break a mirror or something?

We seem to be running into some bad luck with regards to our vehicles. A couple weeks ago, Becky and I were planning to go out. Dinner, movie, maybe some shopping. The one tire on the car had a slow leak and I forgot to pump it up that morning. I really should have. It hit that breaking point and when Becky took a corner on her way home, (we're guessing) it popped off the rim. She pulled over, called me and I came down with the compressor. No dice. When it's completely flat, those little compressors don't cut the mustard. Some teenagers stopped to give us a hand. I was totally able to do anything myself but I was already in my "nice clothes". They offered, have at 'er! We got the spare down from underneath. No prob. Let's take the flat off. Here's where the fun begins. Get it jacked up almost all the way, jack buckles, bends. Rendered completely useless. Kid runs to his house, brings back good jack. Jacked up. Can't get lugs off. Break tire iron. Other kid runs home and gets tire iron. It breaks too. I have my plug-in impact wrench by this point. It doesn't work either. Then it stops working altogether. Becky goes to buy better tire iron. Starts raining. Gets back. Still can't get the lugs off. Now, almost 2 hours later, we decide to pack it in. If we dally any longer, we won't be able to go on our "date".  We take the van and the date is great. The next morning, I paid to have it towed. Tire gets remounted, tires rotated and hopefully properly torqued. Episode over.

Wednesday, Oct 14. The car won't start. Won't boost. Won't even try to turn over. Used a friend's CAA card and have it towed. It's still at the shop. Still not starting. Hasn't even been looked at yet. We'll see how this episode shakes down. Sometime.

Monday! Becky gets back from Wal-mart and says " The van door fell off." WHAT?!  I look outside and yeah, it did. It's hanging all akimbo. ( I started this entry because I wanted to use the word, akimbo) The sliding door had come right out of the track. I had to leave for work like 5 minutes ago. I don't have time for this. I manage to get it back in the track but it won't close all the way. I'll try again when I get home. I hope I can fix it myself. We've been having problems with it so I guess it just hit the failure point. I really hope this doesn't turn into a big money thing. Who knows what's wrong with the car! The only thing that's not broken is the scooter. Well, now that I've said something......

I love pizza.

Monday. Thanksgiving. Pizza for supper.

Tuesday. Leftover pizza for lunch AND supper.

Wednesday. Leftover pizza for lunch.

Thursday. Pizza for lunch and pizza for supper.

Probably no pizza tommorrow but no guarantees.

It's not a beer belly, it's a pizza paunch!!

P.S. (added Friday) I had pizza last night around 9. and I am taking leftovers to work tonight. hahahaha

notebook day

I'm having a notebook day. One of those days where I feel I need to get out
my notebook and rant or write a song. Nobody needs to see it but me. But I
need to get it out. kwim? Depending on what comes out, I might post it on
here.

Some good TV last night!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Funny Story

Becky and I were at a wedding recently. Friends of ours were also there. Him and Her. (names have been changed to protect the embarrased.) After dinner I went out to the car to get Becky's sweater. During this time the caterers came and asked what we wanted for dessert. When I got back desserts where being eaten. Pumpkin pie!! Yeehaw!!! Then, when the caterer came back around to collect the plates,  she asked Her how many months along she was. Her thought it was an odd question coming from a total stranger that she hadn't spoken to that night. Her replied anyway stating however many months she is. (again, protecting the embarrased) And added, "How did you know I was pregnant?" The caterer said it was because she ordered 2 desserts. Her took it in stride and laughed. The caterer went on her way. Here's where we started laughing. The thing is, Her didn't order 2 desserts. Becky did! And Becky's not pregant! She ordered one for me! Can you imagine if she had asked Becky how many months she was! The caterer (somehow, Hello! Becky has PINK in her hair! and glasses. Her doesn't) got them mixed up and Her just happened to be pregnant! C'est drole, non?

It would have been very interesting to see how quickly the caterer back pedalled if she had asked Becky. But, knowing Becky she probably would have just rolled with it, gave her a month and waited til she left before "What the hell!?" She's polite like that.

I should have chosen a different moniker for Her. It makes the sentences sound weird. But it reminds me of how Grace used to talk and how Amelia talks now. So I'm not changing it.

The Week that was

Kind of a roller coaster week.

Monday and Tuesday weren't good. I was pretty much a bear. My mind was deluded by anger and selfishness. Instead of finding a constructive outlet (or better yet, recognizing the emotions and patiently accepting the situation) I lashed out at others. Not cool. I wasn't able to calm my mind before or during Buddhist Meditation class Tuesday night. Even after class I was still in a state of mental unrest. I didn't stay to chat with the others at all. I just wanted to go home.

Wednesday wasn't an angry day. Doesn't mean it was a good day either. Well, it was and it wasn't. I was feeling pretty down in the morning. Probably mostly due to the previous 2 days. I was going to a concert in Toronto that night and I was going to see friends I hadn't seen in a couple years. Sounds like a recipe for happy, doesn't it? I was actually worried that my sour mood was going to carry over and I wouldn't enjoy myself. Week 1 of Anger Solutions for Men helped me put some things into perspective and during the 2 hour drive to my friend's place I did a lot of thinking. My mood did turn around and I did enjoy myself. It was really nice to hang out with an old friend. The concert was pretty awesome too. Clutch rules.

Thursday I drank coffee and watched Die Hard 3 with Spencer, dropped him off at work and drove home. After that it was just a normal day.

Friday I saw the doctor. He changed my medication again. The last one knocked me out too hard. It helped me sleep but if I took the prescribed dose, I could sleep all day. I got my hair trimmed. Becky and I got groceries and had lunch. It was good. (He might have found the right meds. I feel pretty good since I started taking them.)

Saturday Becky took the wedding photos for a friend of hers. (Ours I guess. haha) Another friend of ours was singing at the wedding. So we all kind of went together. We sat together anyway. It was fun. Michelle and Bill helped us let go of the high school slowdance posture and dance like adults. (Stand up straight!) Every day is a learning day!

Sunday we went to Aunt Maureen's for a little birthday party for Gramma Hinch. 90! I tried to have a nap before I came into work but it wasn't really happening. Even when Becky got home and I went upstairs I still didn't nap. But I didn't let if bother me. It wasn't anybody's fault. No one was TRYING to keep me from resting. So why get angry? Then I went to work and that's just boring.

I went for an x-ray Monday morning. I hurt my finger back in August and it was still bothering me. So the Doc sent me for x-rays. I'll find out in a couple days. Not really much they can do anyway. I just hope that leaving it so long didn't do any other damage.

So I guess it wasn't really a roller coaster week. It didn't come back down. It was more of a turn around week. I might finally be heading in the right direction.

Busy boy

Last week I stained the deck twice. I played ball Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and 3 times Saturday. Friday I stained the fence.
This week I have a lot going on but not as physically demanding. I have an appt at 10:30, Meditation class at 7.
Tomorrow I have an Anger Solutions class at 2, then I leave for Toronto to see CLUTCH!!!!!!
Thursday I'll be driving home. Friday I have a doc appt.
Notice how there is not work in there? Shift trades. 2 to pay back in Sept, 3 in Oct and 2 in Nov. I think.

another sleep over

I slept at the sleep lab again last night. I slept much better this time. I woke up a couple times but nothing major. It should be a better representation of normal sleep for me. I don't get the results til November. Dammit.

Interesting/rough day

I had quite the day today. I took the girls to swimming this morning. Then forgot the bag of towels and dry clothes. So I had to drive back into town to get them and drive back out. The girls did very well in swimming this year. Amelia passed Duck. Grace passed 3 levels, Sunfish, Crocodile and Whale (I think). They improved a lot. Then Amelia didn't want to get in her car seat and screamed almost all the way to the sitters. It was around this time I realized the tingle I felt above my lip was going to be a cold sore/impetigo. I usually get them both at the same time. I can feel the cold sore popping up on my lower lip now. So I stopped at the drug store to refill my script before heading to Kingston to buy a suit (see previous post). All my driving today was behind some idiot. At least that's what it felt like. When I got home, I paid some bills. That's fun. Watching over $2000 disappear. Try it for yourself! Or better yet, try it for me. YOU pay MY bills. Now THAT would be fun!

After my nap (work tonight) I didn't feel very well. It kind of fouled my mood. So when Amelia dumped her spaghetti on the floor so she could put her doodle pad on it, I had a moment and dumped her doodle pad on the floor. At least I didn't yell. One step at a time.

I did get to ride the scooter to work. No rain! I did almost get hit by a transport. My exact words were " Thank for movin' over, Fuckwad!" With my luck it will be raining by morning.

So yeah, a week before I am in a wedding and  I am getting sores all over my mouth. Awesome! Other people suck at driving. Awesome! The roadrash on my knee keeps opening up and oozing. Awesome! The Blue Jays keep on losing. Awesome! Ok, I'm getting carried away now. Back to the positive. I got to ride the scooter in!

I don't get it.

I bought a suit today. First time since 1998. So I didn't know my  shirt size or my jacket size. Which wouldn't have been the same as 11 years ago.(16.5 and 42 Short, respectively. Smaller now, if you can believe it.)  I went to 5 different stores looking for something in my price range.  All the ones I could find in my range sucked. So I went a little higher. I didn't want to spend much considering how often I wear them. But I didn't want a "cheap suit". I went with a plain black. The ones with subtle pinstripes were nice but I wanted a simple one for now.

So the jacket fit nice and all that. The pants were right around the waist. But they were way long. I overheard the guy telling someone else that all the pants come with a 36 inch inseam. Here's where it gets interesting. My suit is a 42 Short. The short is for people 5'9" or shorter. Who in the world is 5'9" or shorter, with a 36" inseam. Seriously? They would be all leg. Not so bad on a lady, but not a man. I'm 5'8" and they pants came down to my toes. And I think I am pretty well proportioned. Why wouldn't they make it at least a 32" and then if they get a leggy freak, they could switch out the pants? I don't get it. Then again, life isn't simple, so why should buying a suit be?

I ended up with a nice suit, (hemmed to my apparently short-ass legs) a shirt and tie for under $300 after tailoring and tax. More than I wanted to spend but I am gonna look GOOD!

(Did I mention I was trying on suits wearing baggy cargo shorts, a Cattle Decapitation t-shirt and ball cap? And I hadn't shaved in like 4 days?

Mattfucius say...

Make sense of the world, for it determines your cents.

Whatever you say, can and will be turned against you.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eye.

Steel your will against those who wish to overpower the weak.

You can tell a lot about someone by looking them in the eye. Like their mother's maiden name or what they ate for lunch.

Monkeys throw their shit because they don't have fans.

Seek not the answers to the questions you wish to know, but the questions you already have the answers to.

Forgive and forget (that you forgave).

If the best things in life are free, why do I keep paying for stuff?

You could climb your way to the top, but it's further to fall than from the bottom.

It's survival of the fittest. Unless you're human.

The Soulless

A post or so ago, I entered the first four lines of a poem/song I had started. I finished it that night. Now, I post in its entirety. Should I decide to do anything more with it, I will likely refine it. But here's what I wrote that night.

THE SOULLESS

The wind howls as the leaves drift past

Buffeted by the spirits of the dead

The light grows dim with the passing of the day

Fading whispers of things left unsaid

As the darkness rises, the air grows cold

A pale moon shines down upon the earth

Creatures of the night wake from their slumber

Hunters eager to prove their worth

The forest teems with silent life

Nocturnal struggle to remain alive

Predator, prey battle in shadow

Hunt or be hunted, live or die

 

Demons rise from the ashes of a former life

Feeding on the energy of death

Masters of no one, destiny sealed by fate

Endlessly searching for their soul

Memories embodied in the ether

Soulless entities in flight

Searching, searching desperately

Suffering eternally

 

The moon sets as the night wears on

Strengthening the hold of the dark

Forces of evil descend from above

An army of hate set to embark

On the horizon, a gathering storm

Thunder and lightning in the sky

Amassing for slaughter, the demons ride

No escape, the end is nigh

 

The storm dissolves  as a new day breaks

The demons chased by the dawn

The victims, the dead, know not anything

For the soulless, the search goes on

 

If I was to make this into a song, I think the chorus would be the eight lines starting with Demons rise....the first being where it is, the second being after ...the end is nigh, and the last being at the end. I wrote another one last night but I am not sure if I want to publish it or not. It's pretty personal and I'm not happy with the chorus yet.

 

so yeah

Yesterday I broke the button on my shorts. It wasn't the thread that broke, or came loose. I broke the button. Broke the plastic. I guess I can't squeeze into a 34 anymore.

Mom's home from Vancouver for a visit. I took the girls over for a short visit yesterday. Then we met Becky and Kim and Jacob at McDonald's for lunch. Before we took Grace and Jacob to the fair, we dropped Amelia off at the Lewis's. She's too young to do anything there. We looked at the sheep and cows and the birds. Then the kids hit the rides. We got them bracelets so they could just ride and ride. People that were leaving kept giving us tickets. Strangers!  We took them even though we didn't need them and passed them on to Matt and Kara Dafoe. We took a break at one point and looked at all the entries (flowers, baking, crafts etc) and got Grace an ice-cold fresh squeezed lemonade. Grace didnt' drink very much and passed it to us. We thought she was done with it. So we drank it. Then when we were leaving, she pitched a fit. Little embarassing when she threw her bag of cotton candy on the ground.  Needless to say, she got a talking to.

We picked Amelia back up, I changed my shorts and we went out to my Aunt's. My cousin Margie brought her triplets over from England for a visit. Much of the family that we don't see very often was there. Margie told us the basics of Cricket and she even set up some wickets and played with the older kids in the yard. Pot luck supper, too much dessert. The kids had a big water fight. Grace was soaked (and peed her pants but since she was already wet, she thought it was okay. yuck) It was great to see everyone. I didn't get the girls home til almost 9. 2 hours past bedtime. They went down pretty good. I had to give them a snack though because neither of them really ate well at supper. Not surprising, too much going on. I need to get more fruit leather though. They devoured them!

Amelia has slept in a "big girl bed" incident free for 3 straight nights. I've probably jinxed it now. Not sure if I need to get a new bulb for her night lamp or if the small night light that is in there now is enough. She does need more summer pjs though. And shorts. I can never find shorts for her. Becky must be hiding them.

I think (we think) Grace is missing school. She always wants to do stuff with her friends. She starts Senior Kindergarten one month from today! 2 years yet for Amelia. Becky said she is gonna cry on Grace's first day again this year. I was/am proud but I didn't cry.

Our neighbour is getting a new roof so he has a dumpster. He said we are more than welcome to put crap in it. I might do just that. Literally. Dog crap and diapers. Bagged up of course. Hopefully I'll get some time this week to clean out the backrooms and throw some more crap in the dumpster. I would like most of it to go towards Ceil's yard sale but I know some of it is just garbage.

I started writing a poem/song. The first for lines I've written are:

The wind howls as the leaves drift past

Dancing with the spirits of the dead

The light grows dim with the passing of the day

Fading whispers of things left unsaid.

It was a momentary flash of inspiration. We'll see if it goes anywhere.

It's gonna be a long day

I am going to be really bored today so be prepared for lots of blogging.
Not all of it will make sense I am sure.

i was very surprised by how dark it was this morning when I got up. Yes, it
was 5:30am but I didn't recall it being that dark on Friday morning. I
guess that means the day are getting shorter. And I'm okay with that. I
like the night. I just hope the bugs are getting thinner too.
I have alot of work to do outside that requires at least 3 days of no rain.
I don't know if that is EVER going to happen. I need to stain the deck, the
fence and the railing. The wood has to dry for 2 days then not be rained on
for another day. I think I may take that down to dry for 1 day. Because
it's not like it's raining a lot, just almost every day. So it's not so
much tht the wood is wet 2 days later, so much as it will get wet within a
day. The railing on the porch should be okay. It doesn't really get wet
when it rains anyway. But we have wait 30 days to stain it anyway.
Pressure-treated. It's gonna a busy August!
This entry will probably look weird because I forgot to click on Rich Text.
So all the line breaks won't match up.

On a lighter note

The other day I took the girls thru McDick's drive-thru. Grace wanted to go inside so she could "tell all the people that I am the greatest McGongalder!"

I narrowly avoided Grace's Cranberry Manberry Mush yesterday. I believe it consisted of (at least) chocolate chip cookies, mustard, mayo, yogurt, milk and Fruit Loops. In a cup. I am pretty sure I missed something.

We got a Mac Book Pro to replace Becly's old crappy laptop.If only we could figure out what the problem connecting to the internet is.

 

Appropriate T-shirt

I am wearing a very appropriate t-shirt today. It's my Cannibal Corpse one. On the back it says Centuries of Torment. It's good for today because I really don't want to be at work today. My teeth and jaw hurt. My shoulder blade hurts. My foot hurts. My back hurts a little. I had a cramp in my leg. I am in a bad mood. I am very tired. So, 12 hours at work today will feel like Centuries of Torment.

I dunno what's with my dreams lately...

I can't remember all the details but....

A friend and I went to a party at Neil Young's house. But we weren't invited so we were kind of hiding out. We were being searched for and stuff. Next thing I know I was walking around with Tommy Hanson of the Atlanta Braves. He was telling me that I didn't quite make the cut. But he bought me 3 San Diego Padres jerseys and took me back. On the way back up the stairs I saw Henry Rollins. I said hi, he grunted. I said thanks for the music and kept going. It turned out it wasn't Neil Young's house, it was a rehab centre run by pro baseball players. They cleaned people up and tried to turn people into ball players. I didn't make the cut, like I said. I had to climb down scaffolding to the street because we were hitting the baseballs off the roof.
Then I was hanging out in front of some store talking to a homeless kid. I gave him my hat.
Then somehow I was helping a little Asian kid collect these things. It was like, people would put out their garbage and recycling and then like utensils or something. Popsicle sticks? But we had to collect them and take them back to a depot.

I need to get a dream interpreter.

another weird one

Someone put an ad on TV that they were giving away their cottage. FREE. We thought it was in New York so we didn't bother with it. (dumb enough I know). We were walking around outside Kingston and we thought we saw the cottage from the ad. We kept walking. I saw some friends of mine from work go to the cottage. They got it!! The cottage was huge. I counted 26 bedrooms. Escalators, servants, a food court. It was more like a mall with bedrooms. FREE. and we lost out.
They was also a crazy chase through the town. I can't remember what me and some other guy did to piss a couple guys off but they were chasing us with bats and stuff. I wanted to hide in the cottage (the friends were letting us stay) but I couldn't find an empty room. All the beds were full.
I ended up in someone's closet. on the shelf at the top. I was found but I can't remember by whom or what happened after that. If I can remember more I will post it but I have to go now.

Weirdo dream

Details are getting fuzzy so I better get going.

Basically me and some other people I don't recall were driving. it was on a road that seemed very video game like. the other cars were driving on the wrong side of the road and stuff and we had to swerve and what-not. We swerved into a church parking lot. the Church had big steps and stuff like a giant courthouse you see in the movies. We crashed and rolled the van we were in. the only person hurt was the driver. She was trapped in a crushed cart. Like one that they push food around on in a hospital. We thought she was dead. A guy driving a big truck said "Well, at least your van didn't get damaged much". I lost it. I was screaming like no-one's business at this guy. "You're a fucking asshole!" over and over again. He was basically ignoring me and going on about his business. We managed to extricate the driver from the cart, but she had turned into a very small deer. I can't remember any after that. But that is weird enough.

Hypocrite of the day

I was walking down my street today when I noticed a bumper sticker on a car in a driveway. The sticker said "Lost your job yet? Keep buying foreign." This is an obvious shot at people who buy vehicles from foreign automakers like Honda, Toyota and Hyundai. The thing is, the car that the sticker was on was a Pontiac Vibe. "That's domestic" you say. Wrong.
The Pontiac Vibe was made at the NUMMI plant in Fremont, California. (It is no longer, GM dropped Pontiac during bankruptcy) The NUMMI plant is a joint venture between GM and TOYOTA. The Vibe is essentially the Toyota Matrix with different body panels. The plant makes the Vibe, Toyota Corolla and Toyota Tacoma. So really, they have a bumper sticker downing foreign vehicles on a foreign vehicle.
Not to mention the amount of Ontarians employed at Honda and Toyota plants.

Do your research before you go spouting off with a bumper sticker.

Too much walking

I put the girls in the double-stroller and walked to Wal-mart. Then home. Then down to Gramma's. Then over to Kinsmen park, then home.
We left at 1030, and didn't get back til 130. I got very sweaty.
Good thing I got deodorant at WalMart! and hair gel, and shaving cream.
Gramma doesn't look good. She looks really old (well, she IS 90). But it seemed hard for her to talk and I think she fell asleep a couple times. She seemed disinterested. I should go down and visit her without the girls. They were distracting.
I'm kinda worried about her. Mom and Jess have said she has given up. I believe it after seeing her.

Early to bed tonight!

I was up til 3 last night watching a movie with Chad. Wicked tired today. Movie was pretty good. (Outlander) Chad and Kelly were over for a visit and I used the BBQ for the first time on the new deck. We sat around outside on it for hours. I love it. I do need to add one board though. On the one side you can see the ends of all the 2x4s. I can cover it up easy enough. I even have extra lumber I could do it with. I'll see how it looks with that before I get any more wood.

I am going to do some measurements and math over the next couple days for a railing on the front porch. I need to talk to Home Hardware too about brackets or mounts for the ends. I am not the most accurate carpenter so being able to put it in a bracket instead of having to cut to the EXACT length would be great. Need to determine the spacing the ballisters. Don't want any heads getting stuck. Should give me something to do Wednesday and Friday. If I'm not helping Joe with the roof over the backroom. Busy busy me!!

Deck done.

I finished building the deck this morning. Looks good. Now for a few days of no rain so I can stain it. Need to be dry for like 48 hours, and not get rained on for 24 hours after. I was enjoying a beer (Golden Pheasant, Hurbanovo Brewery, Hurbanovo, Slovakia. Awesome.) on it, but it started to rain. Big surprise there, I'm on holidays.

We went over to the Forestell's last night for a swim/playdate/BBQ. We all had a lot of fun. It was really nice to visit with other parents with kids about the same age that "get it". We had the same issues with the kids, the same struggles with balancing kids and housework and all that. It was great. Great. Great!

And since it's pouring rain out, I will do a bunch of laundry and maybe dishes. I should eat lunch too. I skipped breakfast. Bad me. I am pretty tired and sore so I think I may veg for a bit. Girls have swimming lessons at 4 but I don't know if it's gonna happen. Rain. I dare not close my eyes. I won't wake up in time to pick them up.

The rest of the week in review

Tuesday: Just hung around in the gloomy weather until swimming lessons at 3. then more hanging around.

Wednesday: Canada Day!! Went to the festivities in Bath and had supper with the 'rents. It turned out to be a very nice day. Happy for that.

Thursday: More gloominess. More swimming lessons.

Friday: Went to Kingston to see about getting Becky's laptop keyboard fixed. Had a picnic at a park. Becky and I watched the movie Sex Drive. (comedy not porno)

Saturday: Wood for deck delivered. Becky left for Ottawa for Dana's stagette. Demo of old deck started. Open well under old deck. Left it covered until I am ready to cover it with new deck. Went to Jess's so the girls could play with Hope. Watched TV alone after the girls went to bed.

Our Trip to the Ontario Science Centre

Yesterday we went to the Ontario Science Centre. We planned on going to the Peterborough Zoo but it forecasted for rain so we made a last minute change of plans. (Good thing. It poured.)

I had been to the OSC back in grade six but never since. I don't think Becky had ever been and the kids hadn't. Duh. We were all pretty excited.

First we went to the KidSpark. The girls went nuts. Spinning, rolls balls down tracks, building with blocks, playing in the treehouse, looking thru the periscope, disappearing in the patterns, playing with the air blowers! That was just the first half hour! Then we went to the other side of the KidSpark. There was a big water table, a bubble station, a maze on the floor, a farting keyboard, a beaver house, a machine to make smoke signals, a mirror tunnel, and a cutout of a boy and his dog and when you open the door over his face, it sneezes and sprays water!!

The Space part was next. It was way over their heads. Figuratively and literally. Space is over their heads. Get it? I know I know. It was really crowded in there with people waiting to get into the Planetarium show. We decided it would be a good time for a snack.

On the way to the Snakes & Lizards, Alive! Exhibit, we walked across a pressure sensitive floor that changed when you walked on it. First it was flowers that disappeared when you stepped on them. Later, it was tiles that tumbled away. Also, there was another one that looked like a koi pond and it made ripples when you walked on it. The girls kinda liked the snakes and lizards. They weren't scared, it's just that they don't do much. I got picture of Amelia standing next to a giant python.

We went through the Communication area and it looked pretty interesting but more for Becky and I, not the girls. But it was on the way to the living science area. We went into the science arcade first though. We tested our reaction time, played with inverse mirrors, experimented with pulleys and balance points.

The girls had a great time in the living science part. There was a sound buffering zigzag tunnel. It was really neat. I chased the girls through it about 20 times. We made patterns with sounds, touched a tornado, Grace scared people in the cave. I liked (was saddened by?) the garbage display. The history of landfills is kinda depressing.

We zipped through the Human Body area on the way to the cafeteria (I wanted to used the aging machine but it was out of order). We ate the most expensive snack in history. Almost $30 for a ham sandwich, a small salad, 2 pops, a chocolate milk, a hotdog, a yogurt and a fruit cup. Word to the wise, bring all the food you need.

After that "meal", we went to wait for the OmniMax movie. The girls played in the tunnel and at the water fountain, in the rain, while Becky went to the gift shop. Then we changed the girls. They were soaked. The OmniMax was awesome. It was Under The Sea. Amelia was scared at first because it was so loud but she came around and started saying "Wow!" everytime something new came on the screen. Grace was tired and hungry but she enjoyed it too.

The drive home was good to a point. We stopped and got a more substantial meal on the way. When we got to Trenton, the crying started. Totally unexplained but very headache inducing. They both wailed all the way to Napanee. Then they stopped. For no reason.

They both ended up spending time in our bed last night. (Amelia all night) They both got up early eventhough they went to bed late and were up in the night. I can't imagine doing anything today. The plan was berry picking but we already have some and it's raining. Lazy day. Should really do some cleaning.

Hawks re-sign Bolland

The Chicago Blackhawks have re-signed second-line centreman David Bolland, inking the restricted free agent to a five-year deal.

The Toronto native's average salary over the contract will be $3.375 million per season.

Bolland, 23, had a breakout season in 2009, putting up 19 goals and 28 assists with a plus- 19 rating in 81 games. He also tallied four goals and eight assists with a minus- 1 rating throughout the 2008-09 playoffs.

Bolland was a 2nd round selection (32nd overall) by the Blackhawks in 2004.

Recent attempts at reading something other than Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Attempt #1: Unleash Your Telekinetic Ability.  Who wouldn't want to learn how to move things with their mind? Pretty interesting stuff. I got about 50 pages or so in before I realized it was way over my head. Sign #1: It was talking about auras and chakras. There was a test to see if you had a good aura or a bad aura. I just barely passed the bad aura test, but I was nowhere near passing the good aura test. I must have a mediocre aura. It said that attempting telekinesis with a bad aura can be dangerous and I should not proceed reading the manual. i kept reading anyway. Sign #2: It was talking about the 3 fundamentals of telekinesis. The first was focus. Focus being the opposite of concentration. It said something along the lines of, an approriate level of focus is achieved when you can read these words without hearing the words in your head. Say what?!! When you can think without hearing you thoughts in your head. Are you serious? Is that even possible? I know it is but I have a long way to go before i reach that level of consciousness. (see attempt #3)

Attempt #2:  Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About by Kevin Trudeau.  I got about 170 pages into this one. And I might finish it. BUT, I'm glad I didn't pay for it.  He claims that virtually any disease can be CURED by natural methods. Diabetes, cancer, MS, depression etc etc.  For the first 100 pages or so, he goes on and on about how the FTC, FDA and US Gov't are money-grubbing bastards. That they have their fingers so deep in the pockets of the drug industry that they supress any natural cures to protect profits. Because you can't patent a natural remedy, the drug company will lose billions of dollars.  I'm a little skeptical at this point, but I keep reading. Then he goes on about why we are sick. We are sick from pestcides in our food (I agree), chemical we put on our skin (lotions, creams, soap, deodorant, even sunscreen), from the air we breath, (duh.but he's blaming it more on air fresheners than pollution), prescription and non-prescription drugs (drug companies put other stuff in the drugs to give is different ailments, so they can sell us more drugs. Um, I dunno. But, you've heard all the side effects in the commercials...),  pasturized and homogenized beverages, (apparently homogenized milk causes scarring of the arteries and leads to heart disease) and worst of all, tap water. The chlorine and flouride are killing us. I know they are both poison. But really? In the next section, he tells us how to never get sick again.While this section is riddled with good advice (colon flushes, eat organic food, drink pure water etc) it starts to turn into a 600 page ad for his website. For every suggestion he makes, he doesn't give details. He says he's not allowed. He can't publicly endorse anything. But if you sign up for the monthly subscription to his website, you get further details there, and email him directly for specific products and services he recommends.Sounds a little fishy.  I googled Kevin Trudeau. Almost every site that showed on the first page discredited him.  I watched a youtube video of John Stossel exposing him as a scam artist. A guy from Nightline caught him in a blatant lie. He served jailtime for credit card fraud on his customers!! He's listed on QuackWatch. He states in the book that since most media outlets gain the majority of their advertising revenue from the food and drug companies, they are strongarmed into debunking him because he costs those companies profits. Like I said, I might finished reading this, but I am not taking it all at face value.

Attempt #3: The Taoist I-Ching as translated by Thomas Cleary.  I am still in the Introduction to this. It's pretty heavy stuff. Not a nice easy read. Lots about mediation and yin-yang. Enlightenment, illumination, states of mind, that sort of thing. I'll have more info once I get into it more.

Don't worry. I am also reading Brisingr. The third book in the Inheritance Quadrilogy by Christopher Paolini. Eragon and Eldest were the first two. Dragons!!

Visit to the Sleep Lab

I went to the sleep lab on Thursday. It was kind of an intake sort of thing. Here's how it went down:

They measured my neck, abdomen, and hips. Pinched the fat on my arm, back and stomach. I think all that was to fit me for the various apparatus they use. They checked my blood pressure and pulse. Then they asked some questions about my moods, my short term memory loss, and falling asleep in class in high school and university.  That was with the nurse. Then I saw the doctor. He talked about my twitching, my snoring, my snorting, my moods and my breathing. He talked about sleep apnea. He checked my breathing, my heart, my throat and my eyes. (bloodshot, as always) He told me about the stuff they hook up. Chest bands, electrodes on chest and head, breathing mask, monitor on my finger, and infrared cameras. I hope I'm able to sleep with all that stuff on me! Somehow I don't really think it will be a problem.

My sleepover is scheduled for Aug 31. Yikes that's far. But my name is on the cancellation list so I could get in earlier. In fact, they called last night. But I was at work. So here's hoping they have a more convenient cancellation and I don't have to wait 2 and a half months. I overheard someone ask how long til the results come back and they said about another 4 weeks. So that's the end of September. I started this whole "why am I so tired?" thing back in Feb! Maybe even Jan!

Saw the doc on Monday

I told him I didn't really FEEL any different than last time. Still really tired and irritable. Better at controling it, but I still feel that way. So since it could be another 6-8 weeks before anything comes back about a possible sleep disorder, he started me on a low dose anti-depressant/anti-anxiety. This way if there is nothing wrong with my sleep, I'm already on meds.

He also sent me for more blood tests. All the usual stuff came back normal so he is checking rarer things. Checking for chronic mono, Addison's disease, calcium levels, albumin levels and CRP. Not sure what the last 3 indicate. Also he is testing for rheumatoid arthritis. I told him how my joints have been sore the last couple years. I know work has alot to do with it, but I'm still young but I feel old.

Interview at the sleep lab next week and back to the doctor on July 8.

Let's get this figured out already!!

I can hardly believe it!!

I went to the dentist today. I haven't been in 10 years. I know, I know. They took x-rays and found LOTS of very hard tartar. So instead of the usual scrape scrape, polish polish, they got out the heavy duty equipment. It was an ultrasonic tool. It rotated 10,000x/sec and blasted the tartar apart. So she scraped all around my teeth with that for a solid 1/2 hour. It was not fun. It took enough time that I have to go back and have them hand-scaled and then polished.
The big surprise is that after 10 years of not seeing the dentist, and some questionable hygiene habits (pop, coffee, not brushing enough, no flossing) I do NOT have to go back for fillings!! He said I had no cavities!! What the hell!!? I guess the occasional sensitivity is just from exposed roots (still not good) which is fairly normal as we age.
The hygienist commented that it looks like my home care is good. And the dentist himself said I have very nice teeth.
Wow.

Ribs=shorts?

As you may know, many commercials bother me. The latest of for a fastfood
place. I can't remember which one because I don't want to.
Here it is: a guy is walking down the street wearing pants and a jacket,
and he looks across the street and sees them putting up the sign that says
"Ribs are back." He yells "YES!" and rips off his pants and jacket to
reveal shorts and a golf shirt. He proceeds to cross the street to the fast
food place.
The idea behind the commercial is that they only have ribs in the summer
time. So, seeing the sign, the guy knows it is summer and changes his
attire accordingly. So here's my problems:

a) What kind of moron(!) uses the menu at a fast food joint to determine
how he should dress? It's called temperature, you jackass. "Oh, they've got
chili, that must mean it's cold! Better break out the parka!"

b) Dude just throws his clothes on the sidewalk and takes off. I don't
imagine he got his fancy tear-away pants and jacket at the buck store. I
must be nice to just throw your clothes away. Did he forget we're in a
recession? My guess is he doesn't work at GM.

c) He just walks across the street. He doesnt even look both ways!! You
can't eat ribs in the ICU. Or the morgue.

I know. I'm crazy.

I USED to like Muskoka Brewery...

but not so much lately. Thursday night I had a Muskoka Cream Ale. Not bad taste but it gave me heartburn and a headache. Then last night I had a Muskoka Dark Ale. Same result. Taste was ok, but it have me heartburn.

However, I cannot solely blame the beer. Both nights I had a big piece of lemon poppy seed cake. So I have to so an experiment. Tonight I will have a non-Muskoka beer and a slice of cake. If I get heartburn again, then tomorrow I will have my last Muskoka beer (heffe-weissbeer) without any cake and see what happens. It's not a perfect experiment but it's what I am going to do.

I like to support Ontario Craft Brewers but not if they cause me pain. I've had Muskoka beers before and I don't recall any heartburn, so maybe it's the poppy seeds. If poppy seeds give me heartburn, what would opium do?